mental health Archives - Page 3 of 3

Talking About Postpartum Depression

By Monterey Bay Staff | April 25, 2019

In recent years, postpartum depression has become a very recognizable term. Still, many women suffer in silence due to either the stigma that’s glued itself to conditions of mental health or a misunderstanding or inability to recognize their struggles. The month of May is a time to celebrate mothers. It’s also an excellent opportunity to acknowledge the importance of maternal mental health and the one in five women who experience such disorders like postpartum depression.

According to the Blue Dot Project, “Maternal Mental Health (MMH) disorders include a range of disorders including depression, anxiety, and psychosis and can occur within pregnancy or the postpartum period (together often referred to as the perinatal period). When left untreated, these disorders can cause devastating consequences for the mother, her baby, her family, and society.”

Whether it’s you or a loved one, there are resources for help, local communities passionate for this cause, and lifestyle changes to support your overall mental health.

The first step to healing from any MMH condition is to get informed. The Blue Dot Project and its sister organization, Postpartum Support International (PSI) are a fantastic resource to learn about MMH conditions. The purpose of thebluedotproject.org is to raise awareness of MMH and to lift any shame from stigmas surrounding MMH. If you feel you need support, www.postpartum.net/get-help/help-for-moms/ is a great place to begin. It’s free, confidential and the representatives can help guide you to take next steps along your journey to healing. They have numerous free resources including live, anonymous chat sessions facilitated by licensed mental health professionals and open to anyone with questions and concerns (dads, this includes you)!

SLAM Monterey’s Climb Out of Darkness Event on May 11

On May 11, SLAM Monterey is raising funds for the Parenting Connection of Monterey County’s Maternal Mental Health Program in partnership with Postpartum Support International with their annual Climb Out of the Darkness event.

Join the climb on May 11th at Fort Ord National Monument–Badger Hills Trailhead by going to https://postpartum.z2systems.com/teamMonterey.

You can read the article author Tara Tudisco’s personal story on maternal mental health and donate to this cause by going to bit.ly/climbwithtara.

For a lot of women, one of the primary obstacles to seeking mental health support is fear of what will happen if they tell someone about the scary thoughts and feelings they’re having. Thoughts about intentionally harming the baby. Thoughts about not wanting to be a mom. The specific thoughts may vary, but there can be a lot of apprehension about whether their baby could be taken from them or if they could be put in the psych ward as a result of disclosing these thoughts. This are very understandable fears but ultimately untrue. A mother (or father) who is having frightening thoughts, is concerned about them, and seeks help is insightful. Seeking help is a smart and courageous step to take.

Carolyn Bloye, PsyD, a Licensed Psychologist from Monterey says: “The second thing I think is important for new parents to know is that postpartum depression exists, and so does postpartum anxiety — worries about accidentally hurting the baby. Intrusive images of the baby getting hurt and ruminating about every possible thing that could hurt the baby and trying to prevent them all. These symptoms can be just as distressing and disruptive as postpartum depression. I hope new parents will know that these symptoms are common and treatable.”

From a lifestyle perspective, there are many habits you can implement to maintain your current, good mental health or to support you along your journey to healing. Keeping up your fitness per your doctor’s recommendation, prioritizing a healthy diet loaded with while, nutrient-dense, plant foods and taking time for self-care are generally inexpensive ways to maintain and help your good mental health. Physical activity and nutrition have a direct impact on mental health and practices like journaling, meditation (even walking meditation), and yoga can be powerful during pregnancy and postpartum, but also anytime throughout your life. Self-care can be as simple as carving out time for a lavender bath every evening. Remember that as a mama or mama to be, you are better for everyone when you’ve taken time for yourself.

Whether you’re newly pregnant or months postpartum, look for a supportive community to include as part of your positive lifestyle. Stroller Strong Moms Monterey and Stroller Warriors are great for keeping active and surrounding yourself with a supportive group of women in a similar season of life. As a member of SLAM Monterey, I know the positive impact of being part of such a community.

Alison Bogan, a yoga instructor for Stroller Strong Moms Monterey, and mom of three shares her advice: “For many moms, finding a tribe to belong to can help ease feelings of anxiety, depression and social isolation, which is why Stroller Strong Moms has been so amazing for so many other moms and me in the Monterey area. But we also want moms to know that there is help available if exercise and connection with other moms are not enough! We want moms and dads to seek help, to reach out to talk with a professional that understands what they are going through, or to seek help from organizations like the Parenting Connection of Monterey County or Postpartum Support International or any mental health professional. Many people don’t know that the Parenting Connection of Monterey County operates a confidential bi-lingual warm line (831-783-5933) and pregnancy and postpartum support groups in Marina, Pacific Grove, and Salinas. We want moms and dads to know that they don’t need to suffer alone, that there is help.”

MMH affects the entire family and your community. Moms and Dads at any stage in parenthood should know they are not alone, their feelings are valid and that with the help they can heal and enjoy their life and new, beautiful family.

Tara Tudisco is a Momtrepreneur who is so grateful to raise her family on the stunning Monterey Bay coast. You can find her hiking a trail, working out with SLAM Monterey, or coaching and testing recipes for her blog, which she shares at essentialstothrive.com.

Ten Ways to Stress Less This Holiday Season

By Monterey Bay Staff | November 19, 2018

It’s supposed to be the most joyful time of the year, full of friends, family, and festivities. But research confirms a different reality–most Americans have elevated stress levels during the holiday season. Instead of being full of good tidings and cheer, families often feel drained of time, energy and peace. Stressors such as crowds and lines, party planning, financial concerns and trying to make the holidays perfect can make the end of the year hectic and overwhelming. These ten tips will simplify the season and make it merry and bright.

1. Focus on your reason for the season. Why are you celebrating? Is it for religious reasons? Maybe you want to spend time with friends and family or enjoy the spirit of giving during the holidays. Keep what is most important about the holidays at the center of your celebration. Reconsider any task or commitment that takes your time, energy, enjoyment or finances away from your reason for celebrating in the first place.

2. Set firm boundaries around your time. With all the holiday volunteering, office parties and family gatherings, it’s easy to overcommit yourself. This year, pick one project you want to volunteer your time to, or pick a variety of simple acts of kindness you can do with your family. Spend time with your friends and loved ones, but don’t feel guilty if you don’t go to every party or gathering.

3. Let go of Martha. One of the most stress-relieving things you can do at the holidays is set the bar a little lower. Martha Stewart is an elegant hostess, but you don’t have to do everything the way Martha would to have a beautiful season. Embrace simpler decorations, meals and gift giving than you have in the past. Try quick shortcuts or holiday hacks. If you let go of expectations, you may be pleasantly surprised to find yourself content with a celebration you hadn’t even envisioned.

4. Farm out your to-do list. At the beginning of the season make a to-do list of what you want to accomplish. If you find that it is too long for the amount of time that you have, consider delegating some of the items. You might even consider setting aside some of your Christmas funds specifically so you can hire others to help. Have groceries delivered, and buy gifts online to avoid the holiday rush. Grocery stores also have a plethora of pre-packaged holiday foods that can cut down on your time in the kitchen. Buy desserts from your local bakery, and shop at stores that provide wrapping stations. No time to clean the house? Hire a cleaning service just for the holiday season or ask for this service as a gift.

5. Gift others with experiences. Shopping at the holidays can be time-consuming and nerve-wracking with crowds and traffic. If you don’t start early, coveted items sell out, leaving you scrambling for another gift. Ask those you give gifts to if there is an experience they would like to have. Tickets to the theatre? Family passes to an amusement park or aquarium? A relaxing day at the spa? Experiences give friends and family the opportunity to make memories and pamper themselves, unique gifts that are much appreciated.

6. Set a holiday tea time. Recent research shows that drinking green and black tea has many health benefits, including promoting relaxation. Herbal teas, while not true tea, still help with anxiety and stress. In keeping with the holiday spirit, sip some calming peppermint tea, or try chamomile, lemon balm or passionflower.

7. Take a hike. One way to tell your stress to take a hike might be to actually take one yourself. When you exercise, your body releases chemicals called endorphins that trigger a happier, more relaxed mood. Aerobic exercise outdoors away from screens, phones and to-do lists can clear your mind and help you keep what’s important in perspective.

8. Reconnect with long lost friends and relatives. Meet with an old friend you haven’t talked to for years, and catch up. Take some time off and visit relatives you miss seeing on a regular basis. Surrounding yourself with people you enjoy is powerful when you want to combat holiday stress.

9. Do something kind for someone else. You don’t have to overcommit yourself to a charity or fundraiser to be kind. Small random acts of kindness can make someone’s day. Let someone in front of you at the supermarket line or let someone drive their car in front of yours in the parking lot. Send an anonymous Christmas card with a gift card to a college student or elderly person that you know is struggling financially. Throw change in Salvation Army buckets. Having a kind spirit chases away stress and keeps the season warm.

10. Celebrate memories more than material possessions. Material gifts are nice, but most of us quickly forget gifts we have received in past years. The thing that we remember the most are the memories we make with friends and family. Make some happy memories this holiday season and bid stress goodbye.

Janeen Lewis is a freelance journalist, teacher and mom to Andrew and Gracie. She has been published in several parenting publications across the country and in Chicken Soup for the Soul: Christmas Magic.

Kids & Anxiety: Advice From An Educational Psychologist

By Monterey Bay Staff | April 2, 2018

It’s natural for children to express fear about new experiences especially when the activity involves being away from home and family. Anxiety at summer camp, for instance, can keep your child from forming new friendships or participating in fun activities. If your child is anxiously anticipating any new experience, there are concrete ways you can help your child prepare and then cope once they are in the new situation.

Symptoms of anxiety:

If your child has just one or two symptoms or if the symptoms only pop up around new situations, a conversation and some help developing coping skills will probably suffice. Keep in mind, though, that continued persistent anxiety requires professional diagnosis and the help of an outside expert. Symptoms of anxiety include:

Recurrent excessive distress when separation from home or major attachment figures occurs (or is anticipated).

Persistent, excessive worry about losing major attachment figures (or something harmful happening to them).

Persistent and excessive worry that something traumatic will lead to separation from a major attachment figure (e.g., being kidnapped).

Persistent reluctance or refusal to go to school or other places because of fear of separation.

Persistent or excessive fear or reluctance to be alone or without major attachment figures at home or in other settings.

Persistent reluctance or refusal to go to sleep without being near a major attachment figure (or to sleep away from home).

Repeated nightmares involving separation.

Repeated complaints of physical symptoms (e.g. headaches, stomachaches, vomiting) when separated from major attachment figures (or separation is anticipated).

Ten tips for parents on helping an anxious child (modified from Childmind.org)

The goal isn’t to eliminate anxiety, but to help a child manage it. None of us wants to see our child unhappy, but the best way to help kids overcome anxiety isn’t to try to remove stressors that trigger it. It’s to help them learn to tolerate their anxiety and function even when they’re anxious. As a byproduct of that, the anxiety will decrease or fall away over time.

Don’t avoid things just because they make a child anxious. Helping children avoid the things they are afraid of will make them feel better in the short term, but it reinforces the anxiety over the long run. Parents swooping in to remove a child from a scary situation reinforces that there is something to fear and the child can quickly learn to use avoidance as a coping mechanism.

Express positive—but realistic—expectations. You can’t promise a child that her fears are unrealistic—that she’ll have fun every day of summer camp, for instance. But you can express confidence that she’s going to be okay, she will be able to manage it, and that, as she faces her fears, the anxiety level will drop over time.

Respect your child’s feelings, but don’t empower them. It’s important to understand that validation doesn’t always mean agreement. If a child is terrified of going to the doctor because she’s due for a shot, you don’t want to belittle her fears, but you also don’t want to amplify them. The message you want to send is, “I know you’re scared, and that’s okay, and I’m here, and I’m going to help you get through this.”

Don’t ask leading questions. Encourage your child to talk about her feelings, but try not to ask leading questions like “Are you anxious about the big test?” To avoid feeding the cycle of anxiety, just ask open-ended questions: “How do you feel about the science fair?”

Don’t reinforce the child’s fears. What you don’t want to do is be saying, with your tone of voice or body language: “Maybe this is something that you should be afraid of.” Let’s say a child has had a negative experience with a dog. Next time she’s around a dog, you might be anxious about how she will respond, and you might unintentionally send a message that she should be worried.

Encourage the child to tolerate her anxiety. Let your child know that you appreciate the work it takes to tolerate anxiety to do what she wants or needs to do. It’s encouraging her to engage in life and to let the anxiety take its natural curve. We call it the “habituation curve”—it will drop over time as she continues to have contact with the stressor.

Try to keep the anticipatory period short. When we’re afraid of something, the hardest time is before we do it. So another rule of thumb for parents is to eliminate or reduce the anticipatory period. Try to shorten that period to a minimum.

Think things through with the child. Sometimes it helps to talk through what would happen if a child’s fear came true—how would she handle it? A child who’s anxious about separating from her parents might worry about what would happen if they didn’t come to pick her up. So we talk about that. If your mom doesn’t come at the end of soccer practice, what would you do? “Well, I would tell the coach my mom’s not here.” And what do you think the coach would do? “He would call my mom. Or he would wait with me.” For some kids, having a plan is a healthy way to reduce the uncertainty.

Try to model healthy ways of handling anxiety. There are multiple ways you can help kids handle anxiety by letting them see how you cope with anxiety yourself. Don’t pretend that you don’t have stress and anxiety, but let kids hear or see you managing it calmly and then feeling positive about getting through it.

Dr. Kathryn Keithly is a Licensed Educational Psychologist, Board Certified Sport Psychologist, and Cognitive Learning Specialist in Aptos. Carol Murphy, MA, CCC-SLP is a Licensed Speech-Language Pathologist, Board Certified Educational Therapist and Learning Disability Specialist. Check www.kmkpsych.com for additional information or call 831-234-4182.