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A Holiday Gift Wish List for Grandparents

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Giving and receiving gifts can be such a heartwarming part of the holiday season. Seeing the joy on your child or grandchild’s face when they open your package is a feeling that is not easily topped. Toys are undeniably fun but can be temporary and ultimately add to clutter when they move on to the next best new thing. Here are a few gift ideas that keep on giving and help busy parents keep life fun and engaging all year round. 

MEMBERSHIPS

  • Monterey Bay Aquarium—With endless tanks of incredible sea life, the aquarium has been one of our favorite and most used memberships. There is convenient stroller parking and numerous quiet corners to recharge. The roomy family bathrooms and peaceful nursing room make for a smooth and easy outing. We like to make our own scavenger hunts or make up silly names and stories for the fish. The aquarium is sure to delight you and your kiddos visit after visit and is a great family gift that can be purchased yearly for grandkids.  
  • My Museum—If learning through play is what you are after, My Museum is the place to be. The possibilities are endless and each exhibit offers fun for a range of ages. The exhibits include: a safe play area for small children, mini golf, a healthy farm, a tree house with a slide, a pretend hospital, a play theater, and so much more. Some of our favorite crafts were made at their Creation Station, which is always stocked with inspiring craft supplies. A nice bonus to having a membership is that they give you a discount on celebrating your child’s birthday there. Just provide food and they take care of the rest—a truly stress-free experience! 
  • Monterey Zoo—Lions and tigers and bears, oh my! A membership to the Monterey Zoo can transport you into the wild. You can see over one hundred animals ranging from exotic spiders to African elephants. This can be a nice exotic animal experience without the long car ride, lines, crowds, and extensive walking of the larger zoos.  
  • Gilroy Gardens—This adorable theme park is one of a kind and truly geared toward families with children. The grounds are covered with shade trees, stroller parking, and ample places to sit. They offer rides, nature wonders, educational programs, shopping, and dining. Their membership really packs a punch with parking included, bring-a-friend-for-free on Fridays, special seasonal events, discounts, and two water parks! Make sure you have plenty of water and snacks packed, but if not, they also have several delicious options for lunch. In the warmer months it can get quite hot, so sunblock and hats are a must. This is an all-day outing so you are almost guaranteed a car nap on the way home. 

SUBSCRIPTIONS

  • Magazine just for kids—Receiving mail with your name on it can be so exciting to a child. Some of our favorites are National Geographic Kids, Highlights, Ranger Rick, and Sports Illustrated Kids. You can feel the excitement each day when they help you check the mail. After thoroughly reading through the monthly magazine and doing all the activities, we let our kids color on them or make collages. Your kids might enjoy collecting them and keeping them in order as well. 
  • KiWiCo Subscription Box–With boxes for newborns to age 12, grandparents can choose a program from dozens of STEAM topics. The kids will receive a monthly crate that will bring science, art, and engineering to life with hands-on projects. Each subscription box presents kids with a multi-faceted experience that can last for hours, or even days. Boxes start around $24 each.
  • Literati Books–Literati builds reading skills that are the foundation for lifelong success by providing the most tailored and thoughtful book experience for every reader. Chosen books are curated by experts and honed by data science. Each box comes with five books and you only keep (and pay for) the ones you love. The average cost to keep 3-5 books from the box is $34.99.

FAMILY GIFTS

Board games—Game night is an absolute favorite in our household and such a fun way to bond and spend quality time together. We tend to add to our board game collection each holiday season and have tons of fun with relatives. This is also a great way to teach sportsmanship, patience, and compassion. We have a rule that after each game we say “good game” and give a high five. Picking age-appropriate games for everyone involved is key to an enjoyable time. If your kiddos are too young to play, maybe let them be on a “team” with an older kid or grown-up. We love Sorry, Candy Land, Disney Trivial Pursuit, Uno, Go Fish, and Bingo. In this fast-paced world it is refreshing to slow down, pull out a board game, and laugh. 

THE GIFT OF AN EXPERIENCE

Budding artists might delight in a hands-on art class while sports enthusiasts could enjoy tickets to a game. The bonus is that these gifts provide opportunities for grandparents to spend quality time with their grandchildren.

Most importantly, the best gift of all is love. During the most wonderful time of year, try to slow down and really soak up these moments with your loved ones. As your children grow up they rarely remember their favorite material items but will never forget the warmth and joy of the holidays.    

One Thankful Grandma

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There are so many things going on in the world. Things that make us angry, or scared, or worried. Sometimes it seems like the world is going crazy. And it’s hard to not get so wrapped up in those feelings that we forget to notice what is good, and to be grateful for it. So, in this month of thanks, and because this is a grandma column, here are five reasons I’m grateful for my grandkids:

Grandkids give us a chance to experience all the great parts of raising kids, and none of the hard stuff. We get to do fun things with them, and watch our favorite shows, and take them shopping for school clothes, and try to pass on the things old people know about life. But, we aren’t responsible for all of the hard stuff. The daily grind of school schedules, and nutritious meals, and extracurricular activities, and discipline. I love my one day a week of babysitting the grandkids. And I love my quiet home and glass of wine after they go home!

My grandkids have given me the chance to see my baby girl as a mother. I love watching my daughter be a mother. I love that I see in her all the best parts of the women who influenced her the most: me, my sister, and my mother. Watching her brave determination to make her own way, and parent in her own style, is affirmation that I did something right – I gave her the confidence and wings to create a beautiful family.

My grandkids keep my music library relevant. They are young – only three and six. But their musical tastes are very mature. LOL. Through them I discovered Dua Lipa and Lizzo. And nothing makes me smile more than cranking up the tunes and watching them dance and sing.

My grandkids force me to slow down. I’m always packing too much into a day. I work twelve hours a day, then I stop and take care of two or three errands on the way home, and or come home and clean the bathroom or something. I find myself constantly rushing on to the next thing I have to take care of. But my grandkids dawdle. If I need to run errands when I have them, I have learned to relax and not hurry. Because they move at their own pace, and nothing I say or do changes that. When it’s time to leave, they suddenly realize at that moment they need to use the toilet. They must get their socks on just so, because they don’t like the seams rubbing their toes. Then they take several minutes to walk out to my truck and get themselves belted in comfortably. Then we can’t leave the driveway until one of their favorite songs is playing. But you know what? I still get things done. And I’m not stressed out and rushing, because my grandkids behave better and are more happy when we take our time. My blood pressure thanks them!

I’m grateful for the love between me and my grandchildren. I love how their little faces light up when I go to their house. I love the excited way they yell “Grandma!” when they see me. I love the feeling of peace and contentment I feel when I sit on the couch and hold them and they wrap their sweet little arms around my neck and lay their head on my shoulder. I love the way they smell. I love that their existence has healed my heart in so many ways. I love that they love me.

TRICIA VLASAK is a mother and grandparent. She works in law enforcement when she isn’t writing about parenting, hiking with her dogs, or going on adventures. Tricia received a Silver Award for feature writing from Parenting Media Association in 2021.

Grandparents’ Corner: The Value Of Family Stories

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GRANDPARENTING 102: Thursday, November 8; 5:30-7:30 pm. This class will look at grandparenting the school-age child. Classes held at the Monterey Youth Museum, 425 Washington St, Monterey. Pre-register at 831-649-6444 or info@mymuseum. Class fee is $25 per person.

With the approaching holiday season and visits with extended family, consider using the time together to learn more, ask questions, and pay attention to family history.  

What do you remember about the stories you heard from your grandparents? Did they tell you tales about your parent when they were young? I remember that it was particularly fun to hear about my father “getting in trouble” for pranks he played on his siblings. This upstanding, proper, professional man that I knew did that?

I recently had a conversation with a cousin I have not seen for decades. We talked about our parents, all passed on now and then moved to talk about our mutual grandparents. Because she lived close to our Grandmother, whom I only occasionally visited, my cousin was able to share her memories about things I never knew. I gained a new respect and love for my grandmother as a result. 

Researching family history has become a national hobby. In the book “Unconditional Love: A Guide to Navigating the Joys and Challenges of Being a Grandparent Today” author Jane Isay says: “Our lives have touched at least five generations. In most families, that amounts to a century. History and people and events, joys and tragedies, happiness and craziness–all these elements are embraced in the generations that form our families.” 

There is particular value for children to hear these stories. Researchers Marshall P. Duke and Robyn Fivush from Emory University have discovered that this shared information nurtures children emotionally and psychologically. Isay writes: “These researchers report that children who are informed about their family history have higher self-esteem, a better sense of their capacity to control what happens to them, and lower levels of anxiety.  These qualities turn out to be important for success in life.”

Don’t be shy about initiating conversations with your children and grandchildren and sharing stories of your past. Bring a few photo albums with you and talk to your grandchildren about their ancestors. Share stories about your parents and grandparents. Talk to your grandchildren about your childhood and holiday celebrations from their parents’ childhoods. Your grandchildren will delight in seeing photos of you when you were their age and hearing about how things have changed. 

The holidays are a perfect time to bring the generations together through shared stories so don’t miss this unique opportunity to bond with your grandchildren.

May you have a happy and memorable holiday season!

Here are some books that can guide you: “The Story of Me and My Grandma (or Grandpa)” from Parragon Books; and “From Grandmother With Love: A Personal History For My Grandchild” by Kelly & Regan.

Gail Root, M.A., facilitates Roots and Wings Parent Coaching and from Cradle to College & Guidance for Grandparents. You can get information at www.rootsandwingsparentcoaching.com. Gail is Nama to Quinn, age 6 ½; Spencer, 3 ½ and twins Reece & Kendall, 1 ½. 

Questions You Need to Ask Before Your Parents Move In

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Are you considering asking your parent to move in with you and your family? It’s a huge move for all involved and there are many things to consider before you merge households. Here are 5 important questions to put on the table before you make the final decision.

1. Can we afford it? If your parent has healthcare needs that require remodeling–bathroom adjustments, for instance, the move can be a severe strain on your budget. There may be hidden costs you’re not anticipating as well: transportation, nursing care, additional food and personal expenses. The plus side is that much of the expense is tax deductible but look at costs carefully and decide beforehand who will pay for what. This is the perfect time to have a very frank discussion about finances with your parent.

2. Do we have the room? This one seems obvious – all you need is a guest room, right? Maybe not. If your parent is used to living in a their home alone or has hobbies and interests that require space, a small guest room might not be enough for them to be comfortable. You’re all making a big change and will need private space. Think carefully if that guest room is sufficient and if not, is there another space that can be carved out for mom or dad? Can you create a hobby room or sitting area for them in the basement? Could two small bedrooms be joined to create a larger suite?

If you’re lucky, you may have the budget to add on to your home and create a bona fide in-law suite for your parent. Some families even sell both parent and child’s home to buy a new one better suited to generational living. That’s probably the best case scenario when possible. If not, do your best to find enough space for your parent and as much of their personal furniture and keepsakes as possible. Remember, this will be their home too and incorporating some of their cherished items will make them feel welcome.

3. Does everyone get along? It may seem like a no-brainer but not all families get along swimmingly. If your spouse and your parent don’t like each other, do you really think that will change when you’re all living under the same roof? If there are big differences between a parent and child, it might be better to look at alternatives no matter how much you think you should invite them to live with you. At the very least, consider counseling beforehand to get a third party’s opinion on the differences and advice on how to proceed.

4. Does your community offer what your parent needs? If your parent will be moving from their city to yours, look carefully at your community to see if it will meet your parent’s needs. If they are used to a small town where they can walk to the local diner for breakfast every day, your rural location may be isolating for them or your big city too overwhelming. Planning ahead means you can anticipate the obstacles ahead of time and look at ways to solve problem before they occur. It’s going to be a big change no matter how much work you do ahead of time but a little preplanning can make it go a lot more smoothly.

5. What will we do if this doesn’t work? Of course you don’t want to consider that this may not work after all of your communication and planning. If it doesn’t what do you do next? Or, if your parent needs more care than you can provide, what are the options? Talk with your parent about what comes next and take some time to look at options. These aren’t decisions you want to make when your backs are against the wall. Having some resources available can be a sanity saver and give both you and your parent some peace of mind.

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