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Monterey Bay Parent » September 2023

Apple Picking Season is Here!

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It’s apple picking season on the Central Coast, and we have tips to make the most of it. Plus, we’ll tell you where to pick them!

Apple picking is not just about filling your basket with fruit—it’s about enjoying the entire experience. Fall is a beautiful time to walk through an orchard, appreciating the beauty of the trees. Plus, it’s a great opportunity to pack a picnic lunch and spend time with the kid outdoors. And because apples are one of the easiest fruits to pick, it’s a perfect activity for littles.

Whether you are a seasoned apple picker or a beginner, having some insider knowledge is helpful to make your apple-picking experience more fruitful.

WHERE TO PICK APPLES ON THE CENTRAL COAST

Preparation is Key

Before embarking on your outing, check the orchard’s website or call ahead to confirm their opening hours and any specific guidelines or restrictions they may have.

Timing is everything

Different apple varieties ripen at various times during the fall season. Most farm websites have a variety and picking dates available.

Dress Appropriately

Wear comfortable clothing that allows you to move freely with sturdy shoes or boots, as orchards can be muddy or uneven. And don’t forget to bring sunscreen and a hat to protect everyone from the sun.

Bring the Right Equipment

While most orchards provide bags or baskets for apple picking, bringing your own is always a good idea. Choose a bag or basket with a wide opening and sturdy handles to ensure it can hold a significant number of apples without tearing or breaking. Bring a pair of pruning shears or a small knife to cut hard-to-reach apples from higher branches.

Selecting the Perfect Apple

When selecting apples, look for firm and free from bruises or blemishes. Apples should have a vibrant color and a fresh fragrance. The color can be anything from dark green to yellow, pink, orange, bright red, dark red, or even a combination. Don’t hesitate to ask the orchard staff for advice on the best apples for different purposes.

To pick from the tree, roll the apple upwards off the branch and give a little twist; don’t pull straight away from the tree. If two apples are joined at the top, both will come away simultaneously. Don’t shake the trees or branches. Once picked, don’t throw the apples into the baskets, place them in gently, or they will bruise and go bad more quickly.

Preserving and Enjoying Your Apples

Once you’ve picked your apples, storing them properly to maintain their freshness is important. Don’t wash apples until just before using them to prevent spoilage. Keep them in a cool, dark place to extend their shelf life. For apples you can’t eat within a week, applesauce, apple butter, apple cobbler, and apple jelly are all easy to make.

Here’s our easiest applesauce recipe to use up the rest of your crop:

  • 4 apples – peeled, cored and chopped
  • ¾ cup water
  • ¼ cup white sugar
  • ½ teaspoon ground cinnamon

Combine apples, water, sugar, and cinnamon in a saucepan; cover and cook over medium heat until apples are soft, about 15 to 20 minutes.

Allow apple mixture to cool, then mash with a fork or potato masher until it is the consistency you like.

What Working Parents Want from Employers

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Balancing work and family can seem impossible, with challenges in every stage of parenting and surprises at every turn. The past few years have taught me so much about the importance of a job that helps balance the competing demands of family and career. Working in education, I found those outside of education perceive teaching as the perfect family-friendly job, but as an educator with young children, I disagree. While a matching calendar for holidays, if your children attend school in the same district where you work, eases some logistics during the school year, you have very little flexibility and support. I struggled with both demands and a few years ago, I moved out of public education. I have learned so much from that experience and from talking to other working parents. These are a few things employers must remember to attract a broader range of applicants.

BENEFITS.

Here are some extra benefits that families find appealing:

•    On-site daycare or backup care benefits

•    Flexible hours (remote or hybrid options or hours that can accommodate pick up/drop offs)

•    Generous PTO and leave policies

•    Dependent care plan (DCA)

While these types of benefits can make an impression and attract candidates, more important than a list of benefits is how they are implemented, which takes me to the next points.

Ask about any benefits that are not listed, such as office closures. For example, some organizations have an early closure once a month, designated no-meeting days, or extra office holidays beyond federal holidays.

WORKPLACE CULTURE.

Workplace culture is critical and incredibly difficult to gauge for prospective employees. Working for a team and organization that is supportive of and humanizing to employees is like a breath of fresh air. It allows you to feel seen and valued as an individual. In the interview process, offer candidates a chance to get to know their colleagues and supervisor, whether informally or formally.

(from Edi, parent of 2): See if there’s an opportunity to speak with someone within the organization who is comfortable sharing with me how “it is.”

FLEXIBILITY.

This is by far the request I hear repeatedly from working parents. We need flexibility. Beyond daily needs, there are expected and unexpected days like specially planned events at school or unexpected sickness or injury. We know it is unrealistic for us to make every school event, game, or performance, but there are some events we want to attend. It might mean a long lunch break in the middle of the day or a late start.

For jobs that require travel, conferences, or other big events, be upfront about these expectations and provide as a early notification as possible. Preparing logistics for families so a parent can travel for work is manageable with advance notice. Employees want to have a voice and feel a part of the decision-making process.

(from Brenda, parent of 2): Instead of asking about the work culture in general, ask specific questions such as “How does the team handle last-minute client demands?”

HONESTY AND KINDNESS.

In the words of Brené Brown, “Clear is kind.” There is no better salary or benefit than a workplace where you feel valued, respected, and enjoy the work and your colleagues. Being a parent is a complex, full-time job, and layering in work, the tension between work and life, and the never-ending guilt, means we sometimes feel our best is not enough. Showing empathy and kindness to an employee doesn’t mean you will get less out of me; it means we will want to work harder and feel a stronger commitment to the company because you invested in us during a stage in my family’s life when I needed it.

Remember you are the best advocate for yourself and your family and are searching for the right fit. The interview process can be stressful, so prepare questions to assess the role is right for you and your family now and in the future.

Working parents are constantly pulled between family and work, and finding a workplace that eases tension is invaluable. For employers: think of investing in your employees as a long-term effort. The flexibility and support employers provide now when family demands are heavier lead to deep gratitude and a stronger commitment to the organization. Companies willing to offer more flexibility cast a significantly wider net to draw talent  to the organization. For employees: do your homework and ask lots of questions before accepting the position. Communicate your needs clearly and be sure you understand the expectations of the employer.

While the tension between work and home will never disappear, I am grateful every day to have found a work environment and colleagues that support me personally and professionally.

Denise Green has worked in education for over a decade, specializing in mathematics pedagogy and professional development. She, her husband, and their two children reside in the sunny hills off Highway 68.

Dance Books for Kids

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The Ballet Book by Darcey Bussel

Covering everything from basic positions to the finesse of a pas de deux, this inspiring book will help your child pursue the elegant dance form of ballet. Perfect your port de bras and learn how to dance adagio and allegro. You will even find out the best way to look after your ballet shoes and ensure your make up is just right for your first night on stage. Using gorgeous photos of ballet dancers and easy-to-follow instructions, one of the world’s finest ballet dancers Darcey Bussell will teach you various poses, jumps, and exercises, as well as advanced moves and pointework.

(Ages 7-10)

Fancy Nancy: Budding Ballerina by Jane O’Connor

Ballet has never been fancier! Fancy Nancy loves going to ballet class with her best friend, Bree. But when she realizes that her dad and the rest of her family have a lot to learn about ballet, she has a fabulous idea. What if she opened her own ballet school?

(Ages 3-6)

The Night Before My Dance Recital by Natasha Wing

It’s the night before a young girl’s first dance recital. At the dress rehearsal, she and her class go over the steps one last time. What if she messes up? she worries. But the next day, she’s ready to perform. When the class spins left she spins right! Without missing a beat, she keeps on dancing and smiling. The Night Before My Dance Recital celebrates this with humor, warmth, and engaging illustrations by Amy Wummer.

(Ages 3-7)

Stomp, Wiggle, Clap, and Tap: My First Book of Dance by Rachelle Burk

Channel toddlers’ energy and help them develop balance, coordination, and control with the help of this engaging choice in dance books for toddlers. Moving along with the story will help stimulate little brains and provide a fun, creative way to build spatial awareness. Tons of colorful pictures offer toddlers visual clues for the movements, and rhyming words make reading aloud feel like music!

(Ages 2-5)

Swan Lake by New York City Ballet

This lavishly illustrated book follows the storyline, choreography, costumes, and sets of the New York City Ballet’s production of Swan Lake. This magnificent retelling is a perfect gift for an aspiring ballerina or any family who wants to add this enchanting and classic tale to their library.

(Ages 3-6)

Tallulah’s Tap Shoes by Marilyn Singer

It’s summer, and Tallulah is excited about going to dance camp. She’ll get to take plenty of ballet classes. She’ll have to take tap, too, and she’s NOT excited about that. She’s never taken tap before, so she’ll be a beginning beginner. And she’s right—tap class is not much fun. Plus there’s a girl her same age who’s maddeningly good at tap dancing. But that same girl isn’t very good at ballet . . . could it be that she and Tallulah have something in common?

(Ages 3-7)

Today I’m a Dancer by Marisa Polansky

In Today I’m a Dancer,kids will follow Ellie, and see the various dances she learns including flamenco, tap-dance, line-dance, ballet, and hip hop. Filled with colorful images and fun dance vocabulary, kids will get a taste of what it’s like to be a dancer.

(Ages 1-4)

Encouraging Creativity in Children

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Every generation has noteworthy artists musicians, painters, and authors who leave a legacy for those who come after them. Most of these talented individuals showed an affinity for their art at a young age. Someone saw something in them and fostered the development of their talent. But the fact is, a child doesn’t need to be an artistic prodigy to benefit from learning creativity. According to Psychology Today, children identified as creative at seven later showed better educational attainment and career success. Keep in mind that creativity doesn’t always manifest as artistic expression. It often shows in how a child resolves an issue, expresses themselves, or plays. Creative people are better problem-solvers, more resilient, and generally happier. So, what can we do to foster creativity in our children?

Give your children the gift of unstructured time. Sounds simple. Our lives are so scheduled, with every minute accounted for or directed. But creativity takes the freedom of time. Unstructured, relaxed time unfettered by adult direction. Provide them with tools to foster creativity: books, writing tools, building blocks, a keyboard, and percussion instruments. Take a walk together and talk about what you see. Let older kids play with their friends without adult interference or hovering supervision. Kids who are allowed to problem-solve, role play, make up games, etc., as a group learns to be creative thinkers.

Give children the chance to explore. Often, as parents, we focus on the finished product. The clean room. The drawing. The essay. But especially in young children, creativity is actually in the process, not the product. Allowing children the freedom to express themselves is critical to becoming creative. For example, technique is less important when a child paints than intuition. Letting them use their fingers, a sponge, or the bottom of a cup rather than a brush may be what sparks their imagination. Or give a child who loves photos an age-appropriate camera and let them take photos of whatever moves them: no framing, no particular subject, no directions – just freedom.

Help children learn to fail. Creative people fail—a lot. Kids who can make mistakes and fail can learn how to bounce back and try again. Kids afraid to fail end up “staying between the lines,” which makes people inflexible. Make sure your children know they can be imperfect in their expression. For kids and adults, failure can teach you what not to do. It can help you decide what you liked and didn’t like about your process. The best creations come from the failures that preceded them. Thomas Edison said it best: “I haven’t failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”

Accept a child’s work as it is. When a child does present you with a finished product, accept it. Don’t try to correct it or change it. Don’t try to make it anything else but what it is – the child’s expression when they complete the project. Encourage them to keep trying new things, but don’t correct what they’ve already done. Get them to talk about their process and what they thought or felt while creating it.

Model creativity. As with almost every aspect of parenting, being a good model of what you want in your children is the best way to teach it. So make sure you allow yourself to be creative. Think outside the box. Create an environment in your home that encourages the expression of ideas. Spend plenty of time talking, and make sure your kids know it’s okay not to agree with each other on how to solve a problem. Most of all, take time to pursue your passions, whether writing, sewing, or working out. Have your own interests, and encourage your kids to have theirs, too.

TRICIA VLASAK works in law enforcement when she isn’t writing about parenting, hiking with her dogs, or going on adventures with her grandchildren. Tricia received a Gold Award for personal essay from Parenting Media Association in 2022.

The Soundtrack to Success

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Does your child love to sing? Love plunking on the piano or pounding on the drum? Do you think you might have a future musician in your home? Let’s look at some short and long term benefits of music lessons.

DISCIPLINE

Learning to play beautiful music doesn’t happen overnight. All students must start from the beginning playing scales and mastering basic skills. In our society instant gratification is the norm. Music teaches the value of patience and discipline because children must set aside time for practice and make it part of their routine in order to further their skills.

WORK ETHIC

Music teaches children a good work ethic because they see the value of practice as they improve and reach new achievements. Students will learn how dedication creates good results, while failing to do all the necessary practice results in mediocre results. These lessons carry into school studies and future employment.

MEMORY

Is your child always forgetting things? Music requires kids to practice memorization. Even if sheet music is used, students memorize how to play each note and the sheet music eventually becomes a guide. Students can use their developing memorization skills in a variety of ways in school and at home.

MATH AND LANGUAGE SKILLS

Music helps develop math and language skills that gives kids an edge in school. “Students who have early musical training will develop the areas of the brain related to language and reasoning. The left side of the brain is better developed with music.” (National Association for Music Education)

TEAMWORK

Teamwork isn’t just for sports. Music students may have an opportunity to participate in a band or orchestra. This provides kids experience working as a team and a sense of camaraderie. Teamwork develops social skills that they will use for a lifetime.

CONFIDENCE AND SOCIAL DEVELOPMENT

Kids will gain confidence as they begin to perform music for an audience. This helps kids learn to face their fears and builds self esteem. As kids build up this confidence, they are more likely to boost their communication skills and have increased social development.

LIFELONG CHALLENGE

In music, there is always room for improvement.  This creates the opportunity for students of any age to improve and challenge themselves for many years to come.

STRESS RELIEF

Playing an instrument can be an outlet for kids. Music can be relaxing and a form of stress relief, as well as a way to express yourself creatively. Kids who have this outlet are less likely to find negative ways to relieve stress, like drugs and alcohol.

EXPRESSION AND CREATIVITY

Kids who play music are trained to think creatively. The ability to think outside of the box in many other situations is a coveted asset among many employers.

IMPROVED COORDINATION

Kids who play instruments develop their hand-eye coordination. Just like in sports, playing an instrument requires these skills and develops their motor skills.

HIGHER TEST SCORES

Studies show that children who are exposed to music education have higher SAT scores and better grades in school overall. (Children’s Music Workshop)

INTRODUCES CHILDREN TO OTHER CULTURES

Through music kids are exposed to other cultures, teaching them awareness and empathy for others. This helps them become more accepting of other cultures at an early age.    

My daughter recently started taking piano lessons. As I sat in the room observing her first lesson, I witnessed something. As she played her first chord, a smile spread across her face. It was clear she has a true love for music. To me, this makes the cost of lessons and the time invested all worth it because one thing that’s hard to measure is pure joy.

Sarah Lyons is a mom of six kids including 9-year-old triplets. Her kids enjoy many activities including theater and dance.

Five Things I’ve Learned in Raising a Ten-Year-Old

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Recently, my daughter turned 10, putting her into the double digits and moving her into the second decade of life. The next ten years will bring changes like puberty, physical growth, romantic relationships, complex schoolwork, high school, a driver’s license, and college. But, reflecting, I have learned a few things in raising a kid to 10 that can help others.

1. Teach your toddler to blow their nose. Yes, my 10-year-old has mastered nose-blowing. However, early in toddlerhood, my wife and I struggled to help our daughter through colds. We had that rubber suction ball thing that she resisted and just made our attempts to help her worse. Once she recovered, we found videos on how to teach your child to blow their nose out (it involved blowing a feather with air through their nose). Once we practiced and she learned, it saved us during the countless streams of colds that young children get and helped avoid many ear infections. As a 10-year-old, she now knows to carry tissues when recovering from a cold and how to care for her health.

2. Expose kids to a wide range of food flavors. When our daughter was in preschool, they provided food. Some of the food was novel for the kids, and the teachers were good about saying that the children had to take “one polite bite.” We carried that notion home. At new cuisine restaurants, we have offered her no penalty to order something that sounds interesting (with a little parental coaching). As a result, our daughter has developed a broad palate and a willingness to try all kinds of foods. I think too many parents think that children won’t like strongly flavored foods, but, in reality, kids across the globe are eating the food and flavors of their parents. As a side benefit, we can find places to eat anywhere we go and do not only require the availability of hot dogs, grilled cheese, and chicken nuggets.

3. Kids should be able to engage in transactions with adults in service roles. This means that kids can order food in a restaurant, purchase it in a store, and check a book out of the library. In a restaurant, children can speak to adults who will listen to their requests, a relatively rare opportunity in a kid’s world, and gain independence and autonomy by ordering food to their liking. But these are skills that need to be practiced. My appreciation goes to the patient sales associates who allow a child to count out coins to purchase items with their own money. Librarians are inherently patient with kids and will do anything to support their love of books. Kids can feel a sense of accomplishment at navigating the outside world by interacting with adults in service roles. Yes, kids may still need support from parents, but children need the chance to demonstrate these independence skills.  

4. Kids should have chores and basic cleaning. One of our daughter’s chores is emptying the dishwasher. Her protests and whining convey her distaste for this chore, and she reminds us of her dislike nearly every time, especially when it interrupts her screen time. Nonetheless, it is part of her contribution to household management. At times, she will try to assert compensation for emptying the dishwasher (e.g., an allowance); however, we decline, reminding her that her chore is part of her contribution to the maintenance of the household. By giving her this regular chore, she is learning that she has a role in maintaining our living space, and, at the same time, she is learning that we have faith in her capabilities and in her working independently to get the task done. By at least age ten,  kids can clean the bathroom, wash dishes, load and unload the dishwasher, wash a car, make their bed, fold laundry and put it away, change a younger sibling’s diaper, and more. Kids need opportunities to practice these basic life management skills.  

5. Teach persistence. My daughter often thinks every drawing she makes is a masterpiece, each cartwheel a perfect 10, and her guitar practice song is in tune. But they are not. Many children want to be instantly good at whatever endeavor and lack the understanding that mastery comes from hard work and practice. I have continued to provide healthy feedback to my daughter about progress when she does work hard to improve. At the same time, we battle against her burgeoning sense that some kids are just good at some things (and she is not). So, our current refrain continues to be about working hard at a task to improve and giving her opportunities to demonstrate when she thinks she has made progress. In gymnastics, we have noted that she worked hard to master skills and was allowed to move up a level. In her guitar lessons with her practice, we pointed out that she could now learn those Taylor Swift songs with mastery of the chords. By investing in her budding persistence, I am hoping this will carry her through the next decade of challenges. 

Robert (Rob) S. Weisskirch, MSW, Ph.D., CFLE, is a Professor of Human Development at California State University, Monterey Bay, and a Certified Family Life Educator. He and his wife are parents to a chatty, elementary school-aged daughter and reside in Marina.

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