For me, this Halloween will include one Ninja and three pink, polka-dot Minnie Mouses! Halloween marks the beginning of holiday fun with family. As grandparents, I imagine there are unique holiday traditions you are looking forward to. Perhaps it is Trick or Treating? Planning and preparing the turkey dinner on Thanksgiving? Or perhaps you look forward to “passing the torch” and merely showing up for Christmas dinner with your famous green bean casserole in tow.
One of the joys of being a grandparent is watching our children plan and prepare for the holidays. They may replicate traditions from their childhood or they may create new ones. For some of us, it may be hard to let go of those treasured family traditions. Others are eager to see new traditions begin. One thing most of us agree on is that we are happiest when we see our grandkids enjoy the holiday!
A poll conducted by Grandparents.com asked: Will you see your grandchildren over the holidays?
- 49% responded yes, the kids will come to us and the other grandparents separately.
- 34% said, no, they’re spending the holidays with the other grandparents
- And 17% said both sides of the family will celebrate together.
- There may be a lot of juggling, logistical and emotional, as families decide where and with whom to celebrate holidays. Remember that at any family event, tensions can run high. Please do not complain or compete with other family members and never criticize the “other” grandparent(s). If you don’t get to spend time with your kids/grands for a holiday, don’t hold a grudge the next time you do see them.
If you are not able to enjoy holidays with your grands, don’t be shy about creating something to share. Email, face time or good old snail mail make it easy to stay in touch. Sending a story about the holidays when you (or their mom or dad) were young could be fun. Mailing a holiday book and discussing it via email with older grands creates a way to connect.
Letty Cottin Pogrebin notes: “Because our kids, and we have a long backstory, we may have issues with them, tender spots, flashpoints that set us off. But our grandchildren see us afresh, and we see them as living, breathing opportunity to correct the mistakes we made the first time around. We reach over the heads of our children and hold hands with the future”….I value memories so much…I want to make new ones with my grandchildren but also to bequeath to them- and to their parents- the old ones. Our memory is our children’s biography and our grandchildren’s legacy.” (From “Making Memories” edited by Barbara Graham.)
This Halloween I look forward to making memories with my Ninja and Minnies. May you embrace the upcoming holiday season as you remember the past holidays as you enjoy the current ones.
Gail Root, M.A., facilitates Roots and Wings Parent Coaching and from Cradle to College & Guidance for Grandparents. You can get information at www.rootsandwingsparentcoaching.com. Gail is Nama to Quinn, age 6 ½; Spencer, 3 ½ and twins Reece & Kendall, 1 ½.
Leave a Reply