What Do Kids Really Want for Their Birthday?

Kids want what we all want for our birthdays–to be seen and celebrated in a way that recognizes who we are and what we love. For some kids–like mine –that’s a quiet backyard party with family and a best friend. For others, it’s a wild afternoon at Chuck E Cheese with their entire class (and Godspeed to the parents of that child; may your coffee be strong and your child’s bedtime be early). 

I spoke with parents and interviewed children at the Porter Youth Center, who answered the question, “What do kids really want for their birthday?” The verdict: kids want to do what they love with the people they care about. These five questions can help reveal the perfect party for yours. 

Five questions to ask before the next birthday party:

1. Does your kid like to be involved in plans? If so, put them to work! Not everyone loves surprises; for many, prepping and hosting is half the fun. 

“My four year old loves helping me decorate our house for her birthday and then inviting her friends over for a party. We keep it simple: lots of balloons, a banner, tablecloth and paper plates, maybe some hanging decorations, and goodie bags. She loves being a host and having us all here to welcome her friends.”

– Deborah Araujo

“My daughters love baking and decorating the cakes as a family. And for each of us to make pictures and cards for each other’s birthdays.”

– Laura Spegal

2. Does your child get a kick out of novel experiences? Not everyone likes to spend birthdays way outside of their comfort zone, but some kids will leap at the chance to try something new. 

“My birthday was last month, and I went to a bike track called the Pump Track in Capitola. It was fun because there were a lot of jumps there, and I brought two of my friends.”

– Davis (10)

“My boys love adventures. Hunting for beach glass at Window on the Bay is our top favorite!”

–  Megan Knauf-Ford

“I like extreme stuff like skateboarding. And there should be activities that everybody would like.” 

– Elija (8)

“I would want to go to Universal Studios where you see a bunch of superheroes!”

– Cheyenne (10)

3. Would your child appreciate the chance to give back on their birthday? When I spoke with parents and kids, several mentioned the desire to spend their day helping others. 

“My daughter loves to spend time at the SPCA and has dedicated her birthday cash to raising funds for the SPCA. Yesterday was her 7th birthday, and she asked to spend it at the SPCA with the animals.”

– Erin Borges

“I’d like to visit the pound or another animal shelter. When I was six I started wanting to be a vet, and I know it’s really good for animals to see people who care about them.”

–  Nia (10)

4. Whose company are they craving? To a lot of kids, the best part about a party is the chance to spend time with their favorite people. 

“A lot of people would want presents or money, but for me it’s seeing my family members that I don’t get to see as much. Like my cousins and grandma and grandpa.”

– Malena (15) 

“Aside from books, my eight year old always said she wants to spend more time with family, so we try to focus on adventures and experiences.”

– Erin Donnelly

“If the child is one of siblings, give them a special outing with mom and dad!”

– Savannah Bruch

“I’d want a sleepover with just a couple close friends. And good food, and cake. And if you don’t know what to get your kid, get them money, so they can get something they want.”

– Alayna (10)

5. What are they into these days? Focusing on an interest or hobby guarantees your kid will have fun, and gives them a chance to share what they love with friends and family.

“Our girls loved having a favorite character or animal come to their party. I surprised them with a mini pony at their party and they were over the moon!”

– Anya Heidenberg

“The trend today is providing experiences. We have too much stuff, and the best memories are made when we spend time with people we love doing the things we love.” 

– Lauren Cohen

“I agree–experiences over stuff! We rented out a movie theater for Charli’s 4th birthday, and invited all of our friends for a showing of The Little Mermaid, with popcorn and cupcakes!”

– Sarah Saleet

“Bicycle powered smoothies pedaled out by both parents and kids are perfect for beach bashes.”

– Michael Baroni

“We go with themed parties. This year we did a Harry Potter theme. I made invites, and we had special cookies made by Baked Sweetly by Lizzy!”

– Claudia Santora

“My boys don’t want parties. They want to go somewhere as a family. One of the best birthdays was when we spent the night at the Monterey Bay Aquarium. Such a great experience.”

– Jaime Dillard

“When I was a kid, all I ever wanted was a slip and slide. Pretty much every year.” 

– Kiara McBain

The surest way to make their next birthday extra-special? Pay attention to the experiences that light your kid up–the days they talk about months or even years later. 

Katie Raquel is a small business owner and mother of three living in Monterey County.