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Invited to your first quinceañera? We have tips!

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If you’ve never been to a quinceañera, you’re in for a treat. This information will help you feel confident as a guest at your first quinceanera.

Typically, the quinceañera begins with a religious ceremony, usually a mass at a Catholic Church. The quinceañera will enter first, followed by her court if she has one. After the church service, a party commemorates the celebration. The party can range from a simple backyard barbecue to an elaborate banquet with guests wearing formal wear.

There will most likely be dancing and lots of food. Quinceañeras tend to be very family-oriented. People of all age groups will celebrate the birthday girl’s passage into adulthood. You’d be safe to assume the quinceañera and her closest friends will perform speeches and surprise dances.

Having a great time at your first quinceañera starts with feeling confident in your clothing choice and gift. Here are some pro tips to help you enjoy the big event.

The Invitation

First things first, when you receive that invitation, reply! If there is an RSVP date, honor it and make sure you respond on time. If the date is iffy for you, it’s better to decline and miss the event than to reply yes and back out (but send a gift even if you decline!). Keep in mind that the planning is based on the number of guests, and no show’s are costly. In that vein, if a “plus one” isn’t explicitly included in the invite, don’t assume it’s ok to add one or bring one to the event.

What To Wear

Location is a significant factor when deciding what to wear. If the quinceañera is taking place outside at a park or at home, it is usually acceptable to dress casually. But skip the jeans, shorts, and sneakers. Dress pants and shirt or a simple dress will work no matter how casual the setting and is respectful to the quinceañera and her family.

For an event held at a banquet hall or restaurant, women should choose a dress nice enough to wear to an afternoon wedding. Be sure not to match the star of the day by finding out the color the quinceañera will be wearing (and her attendants) and avoid wearing that color.

Whatever you choose, dress modestly, especially for the church ceremony. Skip the skimpy top or dress and make sure your clothing is modest. A jacket or shawl over a cocktail dress that is a little bare is fine.

For men, dress slacks and a button-down shirt are appropriate in almost all settings. For more formal events, a jacket would be suitable.

If in doubt, ask! It’s perfectly fine to check in with the quinceañera or a family member to ask the dress code if it’s not included on the invitation.

Gift Suggestions

Family members will most likely be gifting special items like personalized jewelry or religious items. They may also be helping to pay for the event. For other guests, think about gifts a typical teen girl would enjoy. Money always tops that list, and gift cards or tickets to an event would be welcome and work well if you don’t know the girl well. Gifts that acknowledge a girl moving into adulthood would be creative and fun. You might consider a personalized makeup bag with high-end lipstick inside. Or, a special charm that could be worn on a chain. Take the gift with you to the reception; there will be a table or other specified spot for gifts.

It’s becoming more common for girls to have a gift registry so ask the parents before you purchase a gift.

You may also want to tuck a dollar in your pocket in case there is a Dollar Dance (Baile de Billete). It’s usually a longer waltz, and anyone who wants a turn dancing with the quinceañera can come up and pin a dollar to her dress.

If you receive the honor of your first invitation to a quinceañera, these tips should help you relax, feel confident, and have a wonderful time celebrating the quinceañera’s 15th birthday!

Celebrating Teen Milestones

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By the time your child reaches their teen years, you’ve most likely planned and hosted multiple birthday parties for them. But a milestone celebration like a quinceañera, bar/bat mitzvah, or confirmation is on an entirely different level. It’s most likely going to be the largest–and most expensive–party to date. Figuring out the best way to attack a large celebration is an intimidating prospect for anyone.

If you have a milestone celebration on your 2023 calendar, here are some general tips for getting a good start on the planning process.

1. Who Are You Celebrating?  With any special occasion, it’s easy to go too far. The challenges of adolescence can make it tricky to plan an event that is a good fit for everyone. But in the case of a milestone, it’s especially easy to let the light of parental pride turn into a heat lamp.

As you begin planning your event, it’s worth reminding yourself that it will probably be a bit stressful for all parties. Some kids enjoy being the center of attention, while others prefer to melt into the background of every event. Approach things accordingly. Depending on the nature of the celebration, involve your child in as much planning as possible. Having an element of control is comforting. Plus, most milestone ceremonies refer to increased growth and responsibility, right? So, make them responsible by including them in planning.

Keep in mind that it’s a celebration. While certain cultural traditions call for certain scenarios, a celebration that turns into a chore isn’t bound to be much fun.

2. Start & Stick to a Budget. Establishing a firm, realistic budget is the first step to any event. No one builds a house by starting with window curtains and lampshades. Everyone’s budget is different, but the point of the process should be to narrow down the most important aspects of the celebration and lay out the rest of the event plan. Knowing you have X dollars to spend will drive the decision-making.

The important thing is to decide on—and hold firm to—the amount of money you are willing to spend. For example, if you want to invite a lot of people but don’t have unlimited resources, you may consider having the party at a public park instead of renting a venue. This will streamline the rest of the decision-making.

3. Generate a Guest List–with your child. This is an area that many parents want to hold onto with an iron fist for fear of insulting a distant relative or business associate. While etiquette and family are something to be considered, equal attention should be given to the people that your child wants to have present. Remember, if the celebration is about your child, choosing people who have been significant in their lives is important. That doesn’t mean you need to invite the entire soccer team, but it also doesn’t mean you should invite Vinnie from your cousin’s first marriage.

Depending on the event and level of tradition, the question of family-only vs. friends can take time to navigate. Many families tend to make milestone celebrations restricted to blood relatives only, hoping to avoid the issue of junior spending all their time with their friends. That point is valid. But the question remains: if the goal is to celebrate coming-of-age and responsibility, it’s worth considering including the people who are peers, not just elders.

4. Neutral Colors. In researching this article, this is one of the few tips I heard from multiple sources. Attention-grabbing decoration schemes usually end up grabbing said attention for all the wrong reasons. Simply put, they often don’t work. The best advice event planners gave me was this: leave extensive decorating to the professionals.

If you want to include more elaborate flowers, table centerpieces, etc., a good rule is to take what seems appealing color-wise and then reduce the saturation by a few shades. Understated tones keep background decorations where they should be: in the background.

5. To Theme or Not to Theme. Themes have popped up in more traditional celebrations to make them more modern. Of course, themes are common in casual ceremonies, such as annual birthdays and weddings. Applying these concepts to milestone celebrations can work but are usually best done in the same understated manner as color. Discretion is often the better part of valor.

6. Consider Help. There’s a reason event planning is a thriving career: it’s not easy. If you have the means, consider hiring a partial or complete event planner to help you navigate some of the trickier aspects of the endeavor, such as venue selection, food, and other sticky details. Yes, it will cost more. But so will last-minute changes when you realize you underestimated the size of the buffet.

While there is something to be said about having too many cooks in the kitchen, different perspectives can help with keeping your focus on the right track. In the excitement of a celebration, it’s easy to get carried away trying to make everything perfect. It won’t be. But it will be fun! And that’s the point, isn’t it?

Originally from New England, Matt Desenberg is a writer living in Monterey.

Quinceanera Celebration at Home? We have tips!

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It’s never too early to plan ahead, especially when you are expecting guests in your home for a quinceañera celebration. Factors such as lights, music and food can affect your guests experience in your home.

Consider these tips for fun and festive home entertaining.

Back to Basics.

Staying organized is key while entertaining guests in your home. Try to plan out every detail before the big event, which can allow things to go more smoothly on the day of the quinceañera. As you think out your plan ahead of time, making lists can be a helpful way to stay organized and ensure you get everything done. List out your guests, what needs to be picked up from the store and possible decorations you might need to buy or craft yourself. The possibilities can seem endless, but it’s important to have a plan in place before you start putting things together.

Think about Theme.

There are numerous ways your style can be shown while entertaining. One way is to pick a theme or theme-related food dishes. One way to show your theme is through decorations. Placing them throughout your home can give the party some life and help guests get into the overall theme of the party.

Light up the Party.

Transforming your home can be made simpler by changing the lighting. It’s typical for lights to be dimmed for parties to set a more relaxed mood. Other ideas include using candles, lamps or even hanging lanterns if you are entertaining outside. Make sure it’s bright enough so everyone can see, but dimmed enough to set the mood for the evening’s events.

Set the Mood with Music.

Pick music that matches your theme and inspires that same feel throughout the house. Have the birthday girl make her playlist before you entertain so you can download songs you may not already have.

Enjoy it.

Through all the anxiety and stress of entertainment planning, make sure you take time to enjoy yourself during the time guests are in your home. Smile and remember to be present in the moment.

Find more entertainment tips at eLivingToday.com.

Quinceañera: It’s more than just a 15th birthday!

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One hundred people gathered in a gorgeous garden on Morgan Hill to celebrate 15-year-old Marlene Villarruel-Perez in October 2021. There was a statue of the Virgin Mary, Marlene read from the Bible, and a priest attended from Salinas. Guests dropped gift cards into a wishing well created by Marlene’s uncle. Later, there would be a custom cake made especially for the ceremony, a disc jockey, and a photo booth for guests to enjoy.

Though as symbolic and elaborate as a wedding, there was no groom involved in this celebration. This was Marlene’s quinceanera. A quinceanera, also called quinceaños, quince años, or simply quince, observes a girl’s 15th birthday, marking her passage from girlhood to womanhood. Celebrated in Mexico, Latin America, and the Caribbean, as well as Latino communities in the U.S. and elsewhere, a quinceañera is both a religious and social event that emphasizes the importance of family and society in the life of a young woman.

Villarruel-Perez says it historically signified a young woman’s availability for marriage, as well. “It’s like a coming of age,” she says. “You’re presenting your daughter to the world, to show the world your daughter is a woman now.”

The quinceanera is a once-in-a-lifetime experience that moms and their daughters dream about while they are still little girls, and planning is nearly as lengthy and painstaking as a wedding. For instance, when Villarruel-Perez couldn’t find a dress locally, she and her mother trekked to Los Angelos to find one. Villarruel-Perez’s mom, Cristina Perez, ordered a doll dress on Etsy that was similar to Villarruel-Perez’s dress. “I gave it to her as a gift,” Perez says.

The doll is part of the celebration. The guest of honor, known as the “quinceanera,” traditionally hands off the doll to a younger sibling or relative, typically a teddy bear or porcelain doll. This doll wore a mini-tiara to match the one Villarruel-Perez wore, also a traditional part of the quinceanera.

In an additional ritual, the quinceanera removes her shoes, usually sneakers, to don her first pair of heels. Villarruel-Perez danced with her dad to a song that he sang to her when she was little. “She took off her tennis shoes and put on heels,” Perez says. “It was from tennis shoes to womanhood.” 

Liana Maldonado’s quinceanera is in May. Maldonado, who is full Latina, says the event has a lot of symbolism. “I’ve seen a lot of family have their quinceaneras,” she said. “I like the tradition. I’m happy that I will be next. I can see it, our family and our culture.”

The guest list is limited to 120 due to the pandemic, and Maldonado has choreographed a dance. She plans to have mariachi music playing as she enters the room and makes her way to the main dance floor. Her mother, Brenda Hernandez, says Liana will wear Vans for the traditional shoe dance. Liana’s dad has been her stepfather for seven years, so the dance is an especially meaningful way for them to connect. “She’ll have her first song with her grandmother and will take off the shoes and put on her first pair of heels and dance with her dad,” Hernandez says. 

 Maldonado is the first child in her family to have the quinceanera. “She’s my first, she’s my baby,” Hernandez said. “People are like, you’re going to spend all of this money? But she’s such a good kid, my husband said let’s go for it. She’s such a great helper. We are doing this to honor her.” 

Bethany Lynn Fowler will celebrate her quinceanera in June with the theme of “A Night in Paris,” according to her mother, Letty Fowler. “We went to France in 2018 and she fell in love with the city,” Letty says. 

Bethany has been planning the event with her aunt since childhood. “Since I was eight years old, that’s all that my aunt and I talked about,” she says. “As I got older we started to get everyone on board. It was something that brought our family closer.”

The “quince” planning itself has been empowering for Bethany. “I struggled a lot with my body image through the process of shopping for a quince dress,” she admits. “It was rough and a huge struggle to find a sample dress that actually fit. In most cases the stores wouldn’t even attempt to have me try on a sample size. There were a lot of tears and disappointment throughout that process. But I finally realized that the dress doesn’t define my body, I define the dress.”

Additionally, it’s a chance to celebrate her heritage, in spite of not being Catholic. “My religion does not define my ethnicity and culture, and I want girls to know that we can honor our culture regardless of the religion we are raised in,” Bethany says. “We can still celebrate our Mexican heritage.”

Bethany’s celebration will feature a taquero (someone who crafts tacos), a surprise dance, and a ceremony in both English and Spanish to honor her recently deceased grandmother, Mama Poly. She will also acknowledge her deceased godmother, Yvonne, by displaying portraits of both during the ceremony. “We talked about [my godmother] presenting me with my tiara because she always called me her princess,” Bethany says. “I do not want to take that away from her so I will be asking her husband, my godfather, to present me with my tiara in her place.”

While the event may have originated as a way to seek marriage prospects, Bethany says times have changed. “Ever since I was little my mom surrounded me with empowering women as role models. Me having a quince is representing the woman I am becoming because of the women who had guided me, and now I get to carve my own path and strive to be like the women who have supported me and continue to show up for me.”

Jennie Tezak is a reporter for The Chico Enterprise-Record and a freelance writer. She has a B.A. in print journalism from Chico State and a master’s in magazine journalism from NYU. Jennie grew up in Monterey and now lives in Chico with her husband.

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