If you’ve never been to a quinceañera, you’re in for a treat. This information will help you feel confident as a guest at your first quinceanera.

Typically, the quinceañera begins with a religious ceremony, usually a mass at a Catholic Church. The quinceañera will enter first, followed by her court if she has one. After the church service, a party commemorates the celebration. The party can range from a simple backyard barbecue to an elaborate banquet with guests wearing formal wear.

There will most likely be dancing and lots of food. Quinceañeras tend to be very family-oriented. People of all age groups will celebrate the birthday girl’s passage into adulthood. You’d be safe to assume the quinceañera and her closest friends will perform speeches and surprise dances.

Having a great time at your first quinceañera starts with feeling confident in your clothing choice and gift. Here are some pro tips to help you enjoy the big event.

The Invitation

First things first, when you receive that invitation, reply! If there is an RSVP date, honor it and make sure you respond on time. If the date is iffy for you, it’s better to decline and miss the event than to reply yes and back out (but send a gift even if you decline!). Keep in mind that the planning is based on the number of guests, and no show’s are costly. In that vein, if a “plus one” isn’t explicitly included in the invite, don’t assume it’s ok to add one or bring one to the event.

What To Wear

Location is a significant factor when deciding what to wear. If the quinceañera is taking place outside at a park or at home, it is usually acceptable to dress casually. But skip the jeans, shorts, and sneakers. Dress pants and shirt or a simple dress will work no matter how casual the setting and is respectful to the quinceañera and her family.

For an event held at a banquet hall or restaurant, women should choose a dress nice enough to wear to an afternoon wedding. Be sure not to match the star of the day by finding out the color the quinceañera will be wearing (and her attendants) and avoid wearing that color.

Whatever you choose, dress modestly, especially for the church ceremony. Skip the skimpy top or dress and make sure your clothing is modest. A jacket or shawl over a cocktail dress that is a little bare is fine.

For men, dress slacks and a button-down shirt are appropriate in almost all settings. For more formal events, a jacket would be suitable.

If in doubt, ask! It’s perfectly fine to check in with the quinceañera or a family member to ask the dress code if it’s not included on the invitation.

Gift Suggestions

Family members will most likely be gifting special items like personalized jewelry or religious items. They may also be helping to pay for the event. For other guests, think about gifts a typical teen girl would enjoy. Money always tops that list, and gift cards or tickets to an event would be welcome and work well if you don’t know the girl well. Gifts that acknowledge a girl moving into adulthood would be creative and fun. You might consider a personalized makeup bag with high-end lipstick inside. Or, a special charm that could be worn on a chain. Take the gift with you to the reception; there will be a table or other specified spot for gifts.

It’s becoming more common for girls to have a gift registry so ask the parents before you purchase a gift.

You may also want to tuck a dollar in your pocket in case there is a Dollar Dance (Baile de Billete). It’s usually a longer waltz, and anyone who wants a turn dancing with the quinceañera can come up and pin a dollar to her dress.

If you receive the honor of your first invitation to a quinceañera, these tips should help you relax, feel confident, and have a wonderful time celebrating the quinceañera’s 15th birthday!