You may read this after our national election on Tuesday, November 3 may be over. Although notions of “government” are often abstract ideas for young children to understand, they understand little fragments of how democracy gets enacted in the household. Think about times when you vote on a choice–that is teaching about democracy. Do you, as a parent, ever veto a choice that has been made? That is government. Do your kids ever try to lobby you to spend money on certain things or activities? That is democracy. These are the small ways that parents shape kids’ understanding of democracy and government.
I like the hope and optimism that comes with elections and the affirmation of re-electing officials doing a good job. I try to bring my daughter to the voting station to see how voting takes place. At home, we often talk about issues, and my seven-year-old claims she has an opinion on the president. This year, we walked to the library’s voting box to drop off ballots and shared how important it is to vote.
My daughter is still a bit vague between city, county, state, and the federal government. She knows the town we live in and that the city has a mayor, who I have relayed it is kind of like the town’s principal. A few times, she has identified something that is “wrong,” like a broken swing and wants to tell the mayor that he needs to fix it. Her advocacy skills are just beginning. She also got to learn about the City Council when I spoke via Zoom to support a council member’s appointment. As a dad, these “life lessons” help kids understand how the world works and understand their place in it. I want my daughter to know that, in our democracy, people have a voice and that people work to make change.
This month also brings Veteran’s Day, which is another opportunity to teach kids how service members sacrifice their time and physical well-being to protect our country. Our community is blessed to have a large number of retired and active service members and their families whom kids can thank directly for their service. Our daughter has friends whose parents were in the military, which helps her understand more of what the military does. On Veteran’s Day, we make sure that our daughter has a chance to talk to her grandfather, who is a veteran, to thank him for his service and to ask him questions about his time in the Navy. He served on a submarine, which I think my daughter thinks is like a mobile aquarium where colorful fish and mermaids swim by. Nonetheless, his stories are passed on to her.
Lastly, this month also includes Thanksgiving. Like everything else, things are different this year, including the thankfulness. All this time at home has made me particularly thankful. I have my immediate family, health, job, money to pay bills, a safe place to live, etc. Thank you also to my daughter’s teacher and school (and all the educators out there) who have persevered in providing meaningful education with limited resources and little preparation. These days, I am particularly thankful for the beaches, parks, and open spaces that we can access, given how much time we now spend indoors. Thank you to the community of people who help raise my daughter. In addition to my wife, we are fortunate to have kind neighbors, delivery people, gardeners, public works employees, librarians, and random strangers willing to entertain the queries of a curious seven-year-old from a safe social distance. The list of thankfulness could go on. Developmentally, kids cannot recognize how much other people do for them. As parents, it is our job to remind them and acknowledge other people’s contributions.
For dads, this is the time to have conversations about being thankful, what that means, and how to show gratitude. Our elected officials donate their time and efforts on our behalf to make our community and government better. Those people in the military also provide an often unseen service in keeping our country safe. It may be acknowledging all the efforts Mom, Dad, siblings, and others do to keep things functioning in the home. Research indicates that when children show gratitude, they are more likely to demonstrate kindness. So, as a dad, I am trying to cultivate that sense of gratitude so that kids will act more kindly in the world. Nowadays, I think the world could use more kindness.
Robert (Rob) S. Weisskirch, MSW, Ph.D., CFLE is a Professor of Human Development at California State University, Monterey Bay and is a Certified Family Life Educator. He and his wife are parents to a chatty, elementary school aged daughter and reside in Marina.
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