Bar and Bat Mitzvah 101

If you or your child is invited to a bar or bat mitzvah, you may be wondering what it’s all about. Here are the basics to help you participate in this special event.

Becoming a bar, bat, or “b” mitzvah is one of the most exciting times in a Jewish teen’s life. To the teen, it means, “I’m an adult!” While that’s true, there are parameters around the scope of this new status.

The word bar is Aramaic and means son. Bat (pronounced “baht”) is a Hebrew word that means daughter. In recent years, non-binary individuals have adopted “b” in front of the word mitzvah (pronounced “meets-vah”). Mitzvah means “commandment,” yet it is commonly considered “a good deed.” Bar and bat mitzvah means “son and daughter of the commandment.” They also name this Jewish lifecycle event and ceremony.

The bar, bat, or b mitzvah milestone marks when a Jewish teen, typically at age 13, transitions from childhood to adulthood, but Jewish people at any age can study for this rite of passage—once achieved, in addition to being obligated to observe the commandments, a bar, bat, or b mitzvah can participate in certain rituals.

Preparation

Becoming an adult in the Jewish tradition is demonstrated by taking on more responsibilities—at home and within the Jewish and greater communities—and taking responsibility for one’s actions. This begins with one’s preparation for their ceremony in which they will lead their congregation in a Sabbath morning service and read a specific weekly section from the Torah, called a Torah portion.

The word Torah can mean different things in different contexts. It is a handwritten scroll without vowels by a specially trained scribe who uses a quill pen to write on parchment, which is fastened between two wooden rollers. One of the meanings of the Hebrew word Torah is “instruction or direction.” Narrowly, Torah refers to the Five Books of Moses and, broadly, to the entire body of Jewish teaching.

To prepare, a child begins learning prayerbook Hebrew about four years in advance with weekly lessons at their temple or synagogue. Studies start with learning the aleph-bet, or Hebrew alphabet, and the symbols that indicate the vowels. Gradually, students learn to read and sing many of the prayers found in the Sabbath prayerbook.

In their last year of studies, students learn to read and chant from the Torah. Chanting is complex and challenging, and training is done with an individual who has studied Hebrew for many years, is skilled in chanting Torah, and knows how to teach the melodies indicated by trope or notation marks among the letters in the Torah.

Making a Difference

Jewish tradition teaches that Jews must take an active role in tikkun olam (pronounced “tee-kuhn o-lahm”), repairing the world. Similar to a capstone project but on a much smaller scale, in some congregations, a child chooses a “mitzvah project.” A child demonstrates their commitment to living as a Jewish adult by helping those less fortunate. This connects their Jewish learning and values to actions that make a difference in others’ lives.

Projects stem from the child’s desire to make a difference for others and are aligned with a Jewish value such as feeding those who are hungry, caring for those who are ill, acts of loving kindness, making peace in the home, caring for the Earth, and saving a life. Students research a need in their community, plan, gather donations and recruit volunteers, and follow through to facilitate changing a life or the environment in some meaningful way.

A child’s diligent efforts to become a bar, bat, or b mitzvah through study, learning, and putting into practice their Jewish values earn them the rights, privileges, and responsibilities of a Jewish adult. This is something to celebrate!

WENDY J. ROSENTHAL is a writer, credentialed educator and tutor, and solopreneur of a boutique marketing company. She is certified in Youth Mental Health First Aid and is the parent of two teen boys. She and her children reside in Salinas.