It is essential to help your daughter build positive self-esteem because it can have a significant impact on her motivation and success in life. The American Academy of Pediatrics found that self-esteem is shaped by both the child’s perceptions and expectations as well as the perceptions and expectations of significant people in her life. They named a sense of security, belonging, purpose, personal competence, and pride, trust, responsibility, contributions, making real choices and decisions, self-discipline and self-control, encouragement, support, reward, accepting mistakes and failure and family self-esteem as factors that can influence how your daughter feels about herself.
On her own schedule
Every girl develops self-esteem at her own rate. Sometimes things like difficulties at home or poor role models can get in the way of developing healthy self-worth. It is your job as a parent to offer guidance and encouragement. The American Psychological Association suggested listening to your child. Remember that while you may have dreams for her, she has her own and they deserve to be respected and supported even if she makes some mistakes along the way. It is not about how many times your daughter may fall but rather that you are always there to help her get back up.
Let her know she is valued
Praise your daughter at every opportunity whether it is an achievement or just an attempt at success. Make her feel valued by asking questions and seeking her opinion when appropriate. Try not to compare your daughter to other people and treat her as an individual. Set realistic expectations and understand that nobody is perfect.
Encourage her individuality
You want to do your best to find out what interests her and encourage her to pursue those things. If your child likes music, you may motivate her to pick up an instrument and later perform in a band or at recitals to feel a greater sense of accomplishment and acceptance. It is just as important to feel accepted out and about in society as at home. Finding ways to volunteer with causes your daughter cares about is another rewarding avenue to build self-esteem.
Give her time to grow
Schedule time that your daughter can do things that make her happy both with you and alone. If she spends time doing things she likes, she is more likely to have a positive mindset. Do not forget to celebrate small victories as there is no better way to build self-confidence. When you are a champion for your daughter and see that she has a group of peers who cheer her on just the same, she is on the path to being another amazing woman who is bound to make history one day down the road.
Resources for further reading
The following books on building self esteem in girls are suggested by Katherine Handcock Katherine Handcock on the website amightygirl.com:
Your Daughter’s Bedroom: Insights for Raising Confident Women, by Joyce McFadden, tackles how a strong mother-daughter relationship has a profound effect on a girl’s self-discovery. Mothers and daughters don’t always have to agree, but having an open and positive relationship despite differences of opinion makes a difference through her childhood — and the rest of her life.
In The Myth of the Perfect Girl: Helping Our Daughters Find Authentic Success and Happiness in School and Life, Ana Homayoun tackles the stresses of teen girls who try to be perfect at everything, from academics to their social interactions, extracurriculars to family life. Homayoun provides tips to help parents to encourage their daughters to focus on the things that they love, rather than constantly striving to please others.
Molly Barker, founder of the Girls on the Run exercise program, wrote Girls On Track: A Parent’s Guide to Inspiring Our Daughters to Achieve a Lifetime of Self-Esteem and Respect to teach parents how to help their teen daughters avoid “the Girl Box”: the place where how she looks and whether she has a boyfriend is more important than anything else. This ten-week self-esteem building plan is designed to encourage parents and daughters to talk about all aspects of their lives — emotional, mental, social, physical, and spiritual — so that they can build the resiliency they need for a lifetime of success.
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