It is hard to describe the feeling of pride you can feel as a parent. Pride emerges as a broad, toothy grin, and other times, mouth agape with wide eyes watching what your kid does. You can feel the sympathetic tension and their excitement as you watch your child on stage or on the field. There are times that I have to remind myself not to jump up and down and pull on the stranger next to me to point to my kid and yell, “That’s my kid!” like I’ve seen in the movies. Yes, like every parent, there is a sense of everyday pride I have for who my daughter is and who she is becoming, but then there are tasks, performances, and accomplishments where I am overwhelmed with pride in that very moment. Each instance is a chance to build her self-confidence from the pride we feel as her parents.
Not long ago, someone at her school came up to me and mentioned something kind my daughter said and did. I responded with thanks, but in my head, I was thinking, “You mean this back-talking, eye-rolling, ignoring-her-father’s-simple-questions girl was nice?” Some days, it is hard to see beyond the snotty, preteen behavior. Yet, all the cajoling and not-so-gentle guidance she gets from us at home must be paying off if the net result is that she is acting in a way we had hoped. Hearing that other people are recognizing who she is, her deeds, and her character, makes me feel especially proud.
Lately, I am amazed at the way my daughter gets on stage and performs or speaks to an audience. Recently, she headed into a dance competition with her team, and despite feelings of uncertainty, when her turn came, she brought out her showmanship and did her part perfectly. After her turn on stage, my wife and I looked at each other, beaming at what she had accomplished. We both agreed that neither one of us at her age would have been willing to put ourselves out there as our daughter had. At the end, we heaped praise on her performance and on her bravery to be on stage.
At home, during homework time, there are often pleas for help, but they are really just her wanting company while she does her work. Last week, she had to write a cinquain poem using her vocabulary words. A cinquain poem is a stylized poem kind of like a haiku where, as the worksheet described, the first line is a noun, the second line is two adjectives describing the noun, the third are three words endings in -ing, then a four-word phrase describing the noun, and then a final adjective. The vocabulary word she chose to use was “orifice.” After discussion of what the meanings of orifice are, she found humor in finding double entendre words and slightly off-color phrases to complete her poem. In between giggles, she recited the poem aloud to my wife and me, and we both praised her vivid choices. As her parent, I was proud of her cleverness and her ability to see the humor in her work.
Amidst the day-to-day routine, it is easy to overlook how amazing our kids are. There are these concentrated times of pride where the awesomeness that is my kid bubbles to the surface, and my wife and I and others see that awesomeness in her actions, her words, and her hard work. When this happens, I know I need to let her know over and over again because that feedback builds confidence in her. As a parent, I have to inoculate her future self against those times when people are mean, no one recognizes her accomplishment, or she feels defeated. So, to you parents, if that indescribable feeling of pride wells up in you for big things, and small, tell your kid—their confidence will grow.
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