Making Extended Family Vacations Work

It’s all about boundaries, balance, and fun

The term “family vacation” can sometimes elicit a skeptical response. While many families use school and holiday breaks to enjoy cultural or relaxing experiences, others view vacations as opportunities to spend quality time with extended family by choice, obligation, or guilt. The most challenging aspect of a family vacation is managing the varying needs of not only yourself, your children, and your spouse but also those in-laws, grandparents, cousins, and other extended family members. Family interactions can lead to disputes, requiring careful handling of sensitive issues to avoid unwelcome discussions. By the end of a family vacation, it’s no surprise one needs extra rest and recuperation.

However, strategies are available to assist in managing family visits and extended vacations. 

SET BOUNDARIES

Establishing boundaries for yourself and your family is essential. Boundaries set clear expectations, and when a boundary is crossed, you can remove yourself from an uncomfortable situation. 

CONSIDER THE LENGTH OF TIME

It is not necessary to spend your entire break with family. Allow time to adjust to regular routines. Short trips help minimize stress.

LIMIT ACTIVITIES

Many families believe that every moment of their vacation must be meticulously planned to include numerous activities. However, by concentrating on a select few activities with downtime in between, vacations can become more enjoyable and less chaotic than a series of back-to-back events. 

ENSURE ALONE TIME

It is essential to recognize that personal time is acceptable even in the presence of family. Personal time could involve reading a book, having a quiet dinner with your spouse, or allowing your children to enjoy quality time with their grandparents without your presence. 

ATTENDANCE IS OPTIONAL

Some activities may not be enjoyable for everyone on larger family vacations. If hiking or kayaking are not preferred by all, ensure that the family is aware that these activities are optional. 

AVOID OVERCOMMITMENT

For individuals eager to participate in every family activity and agree to all requests, it is essential to recognize the potential strain on your energy and time. It is advisable to discern when it is appropriate to commit to setting realistic expectations for yourself and your family members. Otherwise, you may risk disappointing someone. 

ESTABLISH YOUR OWN TRADITIONS

While it is important to remember family traditions, it is equally crucial for us, as parents, to establish our own traditions with our children.  

PLAN VISITS DURING OFF-PEAK TIMES

If family gatherings feel overwhelming during breaks, remember you can visit family members anytime to ease planning pressure. 

DON’T STRIVE FOR PERFECTION

Family trips create memories, help children get to know their family and heritage, continue traditions, and understand the meaning of family. It is not necessary to focus on meeting others’ expectations.