Over the last two months, we have talked about how artificial intelligence is already part of our everyday lives and how it is changing our children’s classrooms. We have looked at the exciting parts, the confusing parts, and the questions families should be asking. Now we need to talk about the uncomfortable parts.
AI can be an incredible tool. It can help a student understand a difficult math concept, give feedback on writing, translate information, and spark creativity. But like just about every technology we hand to our kids, it comes with risks. And those risks are no longer hypothetical.
A 2026 Common Sense Media study found that 86% of kids ages 9 to 17 have used AI. At the same time, nearly half said they had never talked with their parents about AI safety. That gap is where parents come in.
The goal of parents shouldn’t be to make our kids afraid of AI. It is to help them recognize when something doesn’t feel right, know when to ask questions, and understand that just because a computer sounds confident does not mean it is correct.
“WAIT . . . IS THAT REAL?”
For years, parents have told kids, “Don’t believe everything you see on the internet.” AI just made that lesson much more complicated.
AI can now generate incredibly realistic photos, videos, and voices. These are often called deepfakes. A fake video can make it appear that someone said something they never said. A cloned voice can sound remarkably similar to a friend or family member. An AI-generated photograph can depict an event that never happened.
The question kids need to learn to ask is simple: “How do I know this is real?” If a strange video appears on TikTok, where did it originate from? If a shocking picture is being passed around at school, can it be verified by a reliable source? If Grandma supposedly calls asking for money because she is stranded somewhere, hang up and call Grandma back using the number you already have.
Kids do not need to become professional fact-checkers. They need to learn that stopping and questioning before believing, sharing, or reacting can make a huge difference.
There is another side of deepfakes that parents of older children should know about. AI is increasingly being used to create fake sexual images of real people. Common Sense Media reported in 2026 that nearly half of teens surveyed had encountered AI-generated explicit material. Among teens who had seen something, one in four reported viewing content depicting themselves or someone they knew. It is a hard conversation, but avoiding it does not make the technology disappear.
Kids should know that creating or sharing a fake image of another student can cause very real harm. They should also know that if someone creates or threatens to create an image of them, they should tell an adult immediately.
A CHATBOT IS NOT A DIARY
Another rule needs to become just as familiar as “Don’t give strangers your address.” Be careful what you tell AI.
When kids talk to a chatbot, it can feel surprisingly private. There is no person staring back at them. The computer simply responds. That makes it easy to forget they are still giving information to a technology platform.
Kids should not enter passwords, addresses, phone numbers, school schedules, private family information, or photos they would not want shared into an AI chatbot. For younger children, the rule can be even simpler: Secrets? No. Passwords? Never. Private pictures? Absolutely not.
WHEN AI BECOMES A FRIEND
This may be the part of AI that deserves the most attention from parents. Kids are not only asking AI for information. Some are talking to it. AI companion apps are designed to have conversations, remember details, respond sympathetically, and sometimes create the feeling of a relationship. Common Sense Media reported in 2025 that nearly three out of four teens had used AI companions. About half used them regularly. Roughly one-third said they had chosen an AI companion instead of a real person for a serious conversation.
There is an important difference between asking AI for ideas when you are bored and depending on AI when you are lonely, angry, or struggling. AI can sound caring. It can say all the right things. But it does not know a child the way a parent, grandparent, teacher, counselor, coach, or friend does.
The warning signs are worth watching. Is a child hiding AI conversations? Choosing a chatbot over real friendships? Turning to AI first when they are struggling?
Instead of immediately taking the device away, start with: “What do you like talking to it about?” Then listen. That conversation may tell you much more than searching through an app ever could.
IS USING AI CHEATING?
If a student asks AI, “Can you explain fractions another way?,” that can be learning. “Give me five practice questions before my test.” That can be learning too. “Do this assignment for me.” That is something very different.
But cheating is only part of the concern. The bigger issue is what happens when kids stop practicing the difficult parts of learning. Writing is difficult. Solving a complicated math problem is difficult. Reading something twice because you did not understand it the first time is difficult. That struggle is not a flaw in education. It is part of education.
If AI removes every frustrating moment, students may complete more assignments while actually learning less. The rule is simple: AI can help you think. It should not do your thinking for you.
Families should also ask teachers what AI use is allowed. Expectations may be different depending on the teacher, grade level, assignment, and school.
ONE MORE SCREEN ASKING FOR THEIR ATTENTION
Parents already worry about screen time. AI gives another excuse for kids to stay connected. Unlike a television show, an AI chatbot never ends. It can keep generating another picture, another story, another answer, and another conversation.
The question is not just “How many minutes are they spending on a screen?” The better question is “What is the screen replacing?” Is your child sleeping enough? Are they playing outside? Do they talk with friends? Can they complete homework without immediately asking AI for help? Can they still be bored?
That last one matters. Boredom is where kids invent games, draw strange pictures, build forts, pick up books, annoy their siblings, and figure out what to do with themselves. Not every empty moment needs an algorithm to fill it.
WHAT SHOULD PARENTS WATCH FOR?
The warning signs will look different depending on age. For elementary-aged kids, watch for children believing everything that AI tells them, sharing personal information, becoming frightened by AI-generated content, secretly using AI, or regularly asking it to complete schoolwork.
As kids enter middle school, conversations should expand to include deepfakes, inappropriate AI-generated images, secret accounts, using AI to navigate friendships, and becoming dependent on AI for schoolwork. For teenagers, pay particular attention when AI begins replacing human relationships or when a teen relies on a chatbot for serious mental health advice, major decisions, or emotional support.
None of these automatically means something terrible is happening. They mean it is time for a conversation.
START WITH CONVERSATION, NOT CONSEQUENCES
Kids are more likely to tell us about uncomfortable things online if they believe telling us will result in help before punishment. Try: “Show me how you’re using AI. I’m not trying to catch you doing something wrong. I want to understand it.” If something questionable appears online, ask: “Before we believe this, let’s figure out where it came from.” If your child has been talking personally with AI, discuss with them: “You aren’t in trouble. I just want to make sure you’re getting advice from people who actually know and care about you too.” And perhaps the most important: “If something happens online that scares or embarrasses you, come tell me. We will figure it out together.”
A child who believes they will lose their phone forever may hide a problem. A child who knows their parent will help is much more likely to ask for help while the problem is still manageable.
YOU DON’T HAVE TO FIGURE THIS OUT ALONE
Here in Monterey County, families have resources available if technology use begins connecting to something bigger. Start with your child’s teacher, school counselor, administrator, or another trusted adult at school. Monterey County Behavioral Health provides services for children and teens, including school-based mental health support in participating schools. Montage Health’s Ohana Center for Child and Adolescent Behavioral Health also provides mental health services specifically for children, teens, and families in our community.
For an immediate mental health crisis, families can call or text 988. Monterey County’s Community Crisis Line is available 24 hours a day at 1-866-615-1060.
WE DON’T HAVE TO BE AI EXPERTS
This is the final article in this three-part series, and the conclusion is actually pretty simple. Parents do not need to become AI experts. We couldn’t even if we tried.
Technology is changing too quickly. The apps our kids use today may be forgotten by the time they graduate. New tools will appear. New problems will appear with them. But our job has not changed nearly as much.
Ask questions. Stay curious. Keep communication open. Teach kids to check what they see, protect what they share, and recognize when a tool is beginning to replace their own thinking or their relationships with real people.
AI is going to be part of our children’s world. The goal shouldn’t be to make them afraid of it. The goal is to make sure they’re ready for it.
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