Kesha is a military spouse and mother of three teens. She recently earned her BA in Collaborative Health and Human Sciences and her Masters in Social Work from CSUMB.
MBP: Can you give us some background on your journey towards higher education?
As a teen mother of twins, I refused to believe that my life in regards to higher education was over. I knew that I wasn’t going to be able to go to school right away because I was–at one point –a mother of three under three, and also the wife of a sailor who was embarking on his journey in the military. But I would find a way.
Early on–when I was still at home with my kids, I noticed that one of my twins wasn’t meeting his milestones. After receiving support from a social worker, I knew this is what I was called to do. Ultimately, I would like to teach college and have a private therapy practice.
MBP: What kinds of challenges did you face?
The most challenging thing about attending school and raising children has been missing out on those special moments -- sporting events, award ceremonies, etc. But the chance to model for my kids what it takes to get what you want has been rewarding. My children have seen me - and my husband, mind you, who also completed his Masters in December from NPS - put in some long hours at home, work, school, and internships, all the while showing up for our kids. Sometimes so tired I could hardly keep my eyes open, but I made it.
MBP: What would you tell parents who are considering this path?
There will never be a “good time” to go back to school. Your children will ALWAYS need you. When my children were younger, I could only take one class at a time, which is why it took me almost 13 years to go from my AA to my Masters.
The support of my family - especially my husband - made this journey a lot easier. He and the kids just filled in the gaps, and we never missed a beat.
MBP: Looking back, would you change anything?
Nope, nope, and nope. I think the struggles and the obstacles helped to reveal my strengths, my drives and the supports have in my life. In the words of Maya Angelou, “Wouldn’t take nothing for my journey now.”
Monica completed an accelerated Quickbooks Accounting course while raising her 2-year-old son in Monterey County.
MBP: What kinds of challenges came up as you were juggling classes, work and raising Orion?
So, in the time I was at school, I was also working as a tax preparer -- during tax season. The hardest part was not having enough childcare–it is tough to work with a 2-year-old tugging at your arm.
MBP: What about that season was the most rewarding?
During that time, nothing was rewarding. If I got five hours of sleep, that was awesome. Orion was born prematurely, which carried its challenges. Right before classes started, we both got sick. Orion spent his second birthday in the ER, and I had to miss a week and a half of work.
But knowing classes and tax season would eventually come to an end kept me going. I would look at the calendar and think, okay, just a few more weeks. And for us, creating a structured routine made a huge difference. Seeing where he is now, I feel so good knowing all of that hard work has paid off. Now I’m free to work in peace, knowing my son is okay.
Maria is a mother and military spouse pursuing her BS in Labor Studies at Indiana University. She is the former Development Director at the Veterans Transition Center and recently started her a grant writing and nonprofit fundraising consulting company, Vaulknut Solutions.
MBP: Why this degree? Why now?
I wanted to pursue a career in politics, but how could I without a better understanding of unions and blue-collar workers? They’re the backbone of our economy, but I grew up in a military family and married into the military. I didn’t have an understanding of unions and the struggles of non-military workers. So I decided to work towards a major in Labor Studies.
MBP: What has been the most challenging thing about attending school while raising your son?
Balance. It’s hard to find a balance between giving my son the time and attention he deserves, working, and going to school. And in the two years, we’ve been here in Monterey my husband has been a student at DLI, which is demanding.
But I have been shocked at the sense of accomplishment I feel at the end of a semester. I went to college before I got married, long before I had my son, and it was completely different. This time around I’m much more driven and motivated.
My advice to other parents? Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Going to school is hard. Going to school when you have a million other responsibilities is even harder. If you can take a full class load, go for it, but know there is NO SHAME in taking a lighter class load. You will finish it, just don’t burn yourself out. Do you have midterms coming up? That could be the perfect time for your children to have a playdate or sleepover…somewhere else. Having a strong support group of family that wants you to be successful and other parents in similar situations will save you so much stress.
I wish there were more people who understood the struggle of pursuing higher education with kids. I found that many childcare centers prioritize working parents over parents enrolled in school. Having a safe place for your children to go, so that you can focus on homework, is important. I think parents seeking education should be appreciated because creating a brighter personal future is creating a brighter future for our children.
Thank you, Kesha, Monica, and Maria, for sharing your stories, and for your words of encouragement for parents committed to continuing their education.
Katie Raquel is a small business owner and mother of three living in Monterey County.