Across languages, the words for “mother” are surprisingly similar. Think of the English mama, Spanish mamá, French maman, German mutter, Korean (Eomma), Arabic (Omm), and Hebrew (Ema), among others. One of the earliest sounds that babies can make is the mmm, mmm sound, which makes sense because of how “mother” across languages incorporates that sound. Babies learn quickly how to connect the sound of “mother” with the person who gives them food, warmth, and comfort. And mothers quickly learn to distinguish the other sounds a baby makes for the one that signals “mother.” A baby learns to say “mama” and a mom knows to respond. The human experience of acquiring language is closely tied to the importance of mothers.
Mothers are, indeed, central to kids’ and dads’ lives. When kids are in distress, they call out for their mother. When kids don’t feel well, they want mommy. When they are hungry, they go to mommy. When they want to find a toy, mommy. When siblings squabble, mommy. Children recognize the key role mothers play as caregivers in the home and access that role often (and not always for important things). With a “Mom!” being bellowed, mothers will turn their attention from whatever they are doing to attend to children. As a dad, I have to admit that I sometimes take advantage of this reality and, because my wife is preferred for most situations, enjoy not having to attend to my daughter. Among dads, I know that I am not alone.
The importance of mothers can be found in our English language by other ways that the term “mother” is used. If I say, “That was the mother of all storms,” I mean it was the extreme or ultimate because our culture knows that mothers are so powerful and strong. The motherboard of a computer is the main circuit board that connects the components, memory, processor, and other parts and “gives life” to the computer. A person’s mother tongue is the language that they started with and the one with which they are most comfortable. A mother lode is the principal or a large quantity of a lode, signaling the expansive presence of mothers in our lives. A mother ship is the main ship that serves and protects its travelers and protects other ships as well. We have mother-in-law apartments, which indicate an apartment over a garage or nearby to keep close by and house an elderly mother. There is no father equivalent. Even a piece of profanity with mother as a prefix is considered a pretty severe insult to call someone, likely because of the invocation of “mother” and the notion of harming a mother being so repulsive. There is no father version of the same term. Mothers shape so much of our lives that the meaning of life-giving, of protection, and of comfort extends to other things.
This month, dads, with Mother’s Day, it is time to take action. Mothers do so much to sustain a family with great sacrifice and little recognition. When fathers provide care for children, they receive praise. When mothers provide care, they receive little to no acknowledgement. Doubly, when mothers do not provide care to a level that others perceive as “good,” they receive more criticism than do fathers. So, it is time for you to rally the kids, get them to put pen to paper, and express their gratitude for their mother. You too, should note your appreciation of all the unsaid things your children’s mother does to help the family flourish. The truth is, our language lacks a sufficient term or word to express all the things that mothers do, so we need to start with two: “Thank you!”
Happy Mother’s Day to my wife, my mother, my stepmother, my mother-in-law, and all the other mothers out there who do so much! Thank you!
ROBERT (ROB) S. WEISSKIRCH, MSW, Ph.D., CFLE, is a Professor of Human Development at California State University, Monterey Bay, and is a Certified Family Life Educator. He and his wife are parents to a chatty, elementary school-aged daughter and reside in Marina.