In anticipation of this article, I posed the question on my social media asking what women really want for Mother’s Day. It was arguably the most engaged thread on my Facebook feed, including many women I haven’t chatted with in years sharing their ideas, feelings, and wishes.
Here are their responses, categorized by the five love languages and two additional common threads.
WORDS OF AFFIRMATION
“As a foster and adoptive mother, there’s a community of moms who would love to be treated and called as such, without any adjectives or disclaimers.”
Barbara, mother of 4
ACTS OF SERVICE
“Anything homemade from my son and I would love to not have to worry about anything for the entire day. Wake up, breakfast, snacks, dishes, laundry, activities, bedtime, anything needed for the day. Just a spa day and my husband take care of everything at home. I know that if I were home, my child would come to me.” Jaime, mother of 1.
“I would like a Mother’s Day I don’t have to plan. Going on 22 years and still waiting.”
Kim, mother of 2
“A family picture. It does not have to be on Mother’s Day or a professional picture but I would love the gift of a plan – date, time, location!” Melissa, mother of 1
“My husband cleaned the house on Mother’s Day and it was pure heaven. Nothing in the entire world means as much to me as an organized living space (especially clean dishes and folded laundry). It took weight off my shoulders and allowed me to be present and enjoy the kids on Mother’s Day and not feel anxious, overwhelmed, or worry about the fiscal impact of a fancy dinner.” Johnna, mother of 2
“What I really want is to not be stressed. Do not make me a fancy dinner and leave me dishes that make my job as a mother harder.” Emily, mother of 3
GIFTS
“Anything homemade that is meaningful.”
Julie, mother of 1
“I love gifts, flowers, and a homemade card with breakfast. I don’t need a solo spa day or a clean house but would like my husband to plan a gift in advance.”
Nicole, mother of 2
QUALITY TIME
“Our Mother’s Day is a day of connection and care, as we do things for moms in our circle who have lost their children and mothers. Please use this day to reach out to people who miss their moms or their children. Mother’s Day is a day of deep gratitude to be together and appreciate that we still have each other, and to include others as much as we can.” Michelle, mother of 2
“I look forward to sharing the day with 4 generations of our family, including the guest of honor - my 96-year-old mother. The presents and food do not matter; it is about being together and honoring all our mothers around the world.”
Miriam, mother of 3, grandmother of 3
PHYSICAL TOUCH
Note, not one mother responded wanting physical touch. However, some did respond that they wanted to be alone. This is a greater discussion how mothers often feel “touched out” throughout the day and need their emotional needs met before desiring physical needs.
MOMS WANT ALONE TIME
“One year my husband got the inside of my car cleaned and that was the best gift. I like the idea of getting to balance my day by having time to myself (working out, shopping or napping) and then also getting to spend time with the family somehow (dinner, ice cream, planting flowers).” Devon, mother of 2
“I love homemade gifts and cards followed by a spa day and reading time to relax.” Audrey, mother of 1
“Afternoon tea with other moms as well as some alone time”
Griffin, mother of 3
MOMS WANT HEALTHCARE
“My wish is for my son to be pain free and happy and get all the proper scans for his seizures.”
Laura, mother of 1
“Less bouquets of flowers and more attunement to our health and wellness needs.”
Ana, mother of 2
“Women want affordable care and the reinstatement of ‘the village’. I feel that the pandemic robbed us all of the village mentality and availability.”
Sara, mother of 2
