With the new year, the ads for gyms, exercise equipment, and vitamins are everywhere. I wholeheartedly support these endeavors...from the couch. Like many fathers, I find time for exercise hard to come by and, frankly, less attractive than other activities. I don’t particularly like the term dad bod, but the mirror doesn’t lie. In case you haven’t heard this before, a dad bod is when weight is gained in the midsection, muscle tone is lessened, and doughiness prevails after having children. There is actual research that fathers’ bodies change post-having children. In one study, dads were 10 pounds heavier than non-dads with almost 2 inches more around the waist. However, the dads were more likely to say they were “about the right weight” than non-dads. Despite this positive self-image, those extra pounds can compromise health. The last year I’ve focused on staying healthy and not getting sick, so perhaps, this new year is one to take the extra step.
TAKE YOUR TIME
In thinking about exercise, I reached out to a friend, Julie Schnitzer, a Certified Personal Trainer and owner of Atagol Fitness in Pacific Grove, to ask her about dads getting back into the fitness routine. She advised re-entering a routine slowly, gradually increasing to more strenuous movement, and not expecting to pick up where you left off. She said, “Work on forming an identity-based habit. In other words, define what type of person you want to be and take daily actions that align with that identity.” I like to think of myself as lazy, but I may need to shift that image from non-lazy to active and start moving (literally) towards that image.
MAKE IT A HABIT
Fitness goals to me are easy to say and hard to enact. Like everyone else, I am busy at work and home. When I think about taking time to exercise, I feel like I am being selfish and feel guilty. Instead of exercising, I should use that time to engage with my kid, fix things around the house, or help out with the various chores. To overcome this common guilt from dads, Personal Trainer Julie Schnitzer asks, “What can you shift in your life to make your health a higher priority?” She says that perhaps there are activities that may have short-term benefits (e.g., relax with Netflix) you can forgo in favor of those activities that offer long-term investment in wellness. As a dad, it is hard to argue with this kind of logic. I use the same sort of reasoning with my daughter to get her to eat nutritious foods before treats, go outside before videos, and brush her teeth.
PLAYTIME AS EXERCISE
Kids are a good source of exercise. A few months ago, with playgrounds closed, I bought a heavier weight rope to jump rope with my daughter. One of us acts as the turner, and the other is the jumper (The other end is tied to a tree or pole). After a few rounds of “Bubble gum, bubble gum, in a dish…,” I eventually have to take a turn. I do try my best and enjoy the jump roping but am relieved when my 7-year-old gets sloppy in her turning. We then turn to frisbee, which often turns into wind sprints to get to the frisbee first. It feels good to play and run around, leaving stresses behind and staying in the moment of fun. Schnitzer concurs with this kind of activity, advocating that “kids are the ultimate training tools.” She notes that children are always looking to play and love being physically active with their parents. As a dad, increasing these play activities benefits my connection with my kid and my health by incorporating exercise simultaneously (a side benefit is my wife gets a quiet house for a while). In our place, we have started an outside-play-for-videos rule for my daughter, which is easier to fulfill when daddy is cycling alongside or is playing catch too.
I don’t know if this dad bod is going to become a rad bod. I hope that others will join me in leaving the couch, being active and healthy, and making changes so we can be around with our kids for a long time.
Robert (Rob) S. Weisskirch, MSW, Ph.D., CFLE is a Professor of Human Development at California State University, Monterey Bay and is a Certified Family Life Educator. He and his wife are parents to a chatty, elementary school-aged daughter and reside in Marina.