School is supposed to be a safe place where children go to learn and engage with their teachers and peers and make friends. However, school can be anxiety-inducing in this age of COVID-19 pandemic stress, repeated school shootings, and bullying. Educators and parents need new strategies to help their students navigate these confusing times.
Steve Stark is a teacher at a public school in Sacramento and has been teaching for 11 years. He currently teaches ninth and tenth graders. He said recently that his students had expressed fears about not graduating on time and bullying, especially on social media.
“My students sometimes talk to me or will write about their fears in a journal entry,” Stark said. He said his students keep journals in their English classes. If there is a particularly concerning entry, the English teachers will show the journal entries to Stark, especially if it involves a student from his caseload.
Regarding shootings, Stark said campus security has increased and all entrances are secured.
Stark said he talks to his students and “shows them that I am there to listen and care.” If it is a case where he believes they need more support, he refers them to the campus wellness center, which specializes in counseling for students.
Anna Munoz, who will be teaching high school at a school in Gonzalez in the fall, was the independent studies teacher at her last school. She said many students struggle with individualized education plans and special needs when returning to school post-COVID-19.
“Going from staying home versus returning to a rigorous mass setting for eight hours is difficult,” Munoz said. “Parents can meet with counselors to help with mental health needs affecting students living in fear or anxiety during the pandemic.”
Munoz said that some families have switched to alternatives like home school or independent study. “These fears and anxieties are genuine, and families may talk to the office to be directed to the right resource for help,” she said.
Munoz said some students fear violence and school intruders, especially with a spike in school shootings.
“Families can work with schools to learn ALICE active shooter training for lockdowns to be safer,” she said. “The more we understand the proper protocol, the safer our schools will be, and the students will be less fearful.”
Munoz also said some common fears could include isolation or bullying, especially in this age of social media. “It’s important for students with fears to speak up and get help from adults to improve the situations,” she said.
Munoz said school offices have resources to help students. Parents can call Monterey Unified School District and ask to speak to someone in counseling.
Lysa Ogburn, who teaches ninth through twelfth graders at Pacific Grove High School, said her students have a lot of anxiety.
“They sometimes get worried about doing well on a test, getting things wrong in class, or making a mistake,” Ogburn said. “When they’re anxious, they can’t learn. I do a lot of guided breathing with them. I also tell students it’s okay to make mistakes because it tells me what I need to teach or that I need to teach it differently.”
Ogburn said mistakes could be an essential part of learning.
“We celebrate mistakes as much as we celebrate successes because we can learn from both,” she said. “That takes the pressure to be right all the time off.”
For some children coping methods aren’t enough and a change of teacher or school may be necessary.
Kim Scruton-Yarnes sent her son, Ryland back to first grade in Monterey last year. The transition did not go well.
“He had enjoyed the same wonderful teacher for T-K and kindergarten but didn’t connect with the rigid style of the first-grade teacher,” Scruton-Yarnes said. “Her response, saying things like ‘you give me a headache’ or telling him to sit in the office, where he was left in a room alone, only exacerbated the situation. “
Scruton-Yarnes packed notes, pictures, and jokes in his lunch to give him something to look forward to.
“We made jewelry together that he could hold or fidget with when he felt anxious, and we read a number of books about emotions, going to school, and love,” she said. “Our favorite was the “Kissing Hand,” and we did kissing hands every day. We also started daily affirmations, such as saying, ‘I am strong, I am smart, I am cared for, and I am loved.’
But no matter how many coping methods they both used, he continued to start the school day crying hysterically, and we were both miserable. These were some of the hardest days of my life.”
Scruton-Yarnes said she made the difficult decision to have her son switched to a different school, Monterey Bay Charter. There administrators worked with Scruton-Yarnes to institute coping strategies, starting with a safe space. They draped a sheet over a desk, where he could find quiet if he needed alone time.
“We did drop him off before school started, so it wasn’t so overstimulating, and we could take adequate time for him to separate. He was allowed to call me when he couldn’t calm himself. It helped for him to know the schedule, exactly when I’d be back, and he learned to tell time quickly! He still asks that I stay until they walk into the class, and we still confirm the plan for the day on the way to school each day. He keeps one picture of us in his cubby,” she said. And, most importantly he loves his new teacher.
“He took a few weeks to adjust and get over his general anxiety, but he connected with her immediately,” she said.
Whether your child has “new year jitters” that can be alleviated with some extra attention or long-lasting fears that need professional intervention, the first step is for parents and teachers to pay close attention.
Anna Munoz advises that “it’s important to show love and patience to your kids living in these interesting times,” Munoz said. “Besides speaking to counselors and the people at the school offices, make time for family to speak daily. They need a place where they feel loved. It’s easy to rush around to get everything done, yet our kids need time to talk too.”
JENNIE BLEVINS is a freelance writer for Monterey Bay Parent magazine and a full-time reporter for the Chico Enterprise-Record newspaper. She has a B.A. in journalism from Chico State and a masters in journalism from NYU.