One year from now, we will be on the brink of an undoubtedly difficult Presidential campaign season. It would be impossible to anticipate the phrases that will fly during the debates, stump speeches, and primaries. And unfortunately, other challenging news stories are bound to be televised: natural disasters, violence, crime.
While the news is difficult to predict, there are ways you can guide your family through these messages, to raise respectful, resilient and confident kids.
To read guidelines for age-appropriate media consumption, click here.
Colleen Murphy recalled the experience of being a mother to a young child on September 11.
“On 9/11 my son was three,” Murphy said. “He came into the room and I just turned it off.”
Murphy is an Early Childhood Educator and Parent Coach, and a Certified Positive Discipline Trainer with Positive Discipline Community Resources, local parent education, and social change nonprofit. She explains there are different approaches to help kids navigate the news depending on their age.
“You should consider a child’s developmental stages,” Murphy said. “And always let them lead the way.”
According to Murphy, a child who has been affected by negativity may appear fine during the day but will feel more vulnerable at night.
“These things are not linear,” Murphy said. “It can be hard to know exactly what causes the behaviors, like being extra clingy, extra quiet or anxious about going to bed. Kids are great perceivers and terrible interpreters. They simply don’t have the language for it.”
Observing a child’s play is a great way to learn about how they are processing their thoughts and emotions.
“Kids process everything through play; it’s very healthy and cathartic,” Murphy said. “If they’re building with blocks and acting out a fire or a building falling, observe that. That’s how you’ll know how impacted they are.”
Murphy suggested staying with your child when they are displaying behaviors through play or otherwise that show they are processing negative messages.
“Be with them and talk it through,” she said. “Ask them, ‘What is happening here? How can we help?’”
There are a few definite “don’ts” when talking to your kids about negativity in the news as well, Murphy said.
“You don’t join them in their anxiousness’,” Murphy said. “Small emotions are ok, but they will feel their foundation shaken if they see you in a terrified state.”
Murphy also suggested having a good relationship with your child’s teacher to see how much is being discussed within the classroom, never avoiding a difficult conversation and processing your own thoughts and feelings with adults that make you feel safe.
For Murphy, there are a few simple things to keep in mind when you’re helping your child navigate the current world.
“Stay in the moment, make no promises and always be available as a confident parent,” Murphy said.