In the post-holiday rush, I always find it difficult to do much beyond work. The catch-up period that follows the holiday break feels like almost as much of a tradition as the holidays themselves. We’re all pretty used to it–which is a problem.
It’s too easy to jump back on life’s treadmill. And while the New Year’s resolution has become a marketing gimmick (gym memberships?), that doesn’t mean it isn’t worth reflecting on how (and how often) your family spends time together and considering ways to get more face-to-face time.
If you’d like to see more of your loved ones this year, here are some ideas for turning text exchanges into time together.
1. Think Small & Stay Consistent. It’s easy to decide to make many changes with the arrival of a new year…and incredibly hard to sustain those changes for any meaningful length of time (again, gym memberships?). It’s also hard, especially as kids get older, to institute a new form of family togetherness that doesn’t feel manufactured. This is natural, of course. The idea of forcing a teenager to do anything family-oriented can be daunting.
If you want to spend more time together as a family, remember that it’s supposed to be enjoyable. The best approach depends on the ages and nature of your family, but doing something small is often a good strategy. What’s the best way to eat an elephant? One bite at a time.
2. Stay Away From the Weekend. The weekend might seem the logical place to implement family time. Depending on the ages of your children, it can be trickier than you think.
Once kids are a little older, classes and activities can fill the weekends. A regular family activity that works when your family is younger such as Sunday dinner together as a family may start getting skipped as kids get older until it’s all but forgotten.
Early in the week can often be the best time to check in as a family. For example, doing a regular Monday night dinner or activity might be the perfect time to check in with your loved ones. Plus, doing something fun can shine a little positivity on the sometimes-dreary start of yet another week.
But if regularly scheduled events aren’t in the cards for your busy family, there’s no reason you can’t reinforce the human-to-human connection in other ways.
3. Call, Don’t Text. A good friend of mine hates (hates!) texting, claiming that it has chipped away at human-to-human connection. More often than not, I can send him a text, count to ten, and before I hit “seven,” the phone is ringing.
It can seem a little silly to dial up your spouse instead of tapping out a quick “Get milk on the way home,” but we’re wired to communicate verbally. We all know that texting and driving isn’t a great idea, so take advantage of your legally mandated hands-free device and start making more phone calls to your family. Like the above, think small. Maybe replace one text a day or a week with a phone call.
4. Play Hooky. The principal of the school I previously worked at once told me that she and her husband would plan a day every year to randomly pull their kids from school and do a family activity to a museum, theme park, or other destination. The element of surprise can be a powerful one. If you can’t make weekly family time happen, go for the sneak attack.
5. Share a Book. This one can be either a huge success or a massive failure. I’ve seen it go both ways, but reading the same book simultaneously can provide a point of reference and discussion if you have older kids. Plus, it can be done around everyone’s schedule.
6. Start a Photo Album. Many families and friend groups have ongoing chat threads that span weeks, months, or even years. With modern smartphones, it has become common to ping photos back and forth without a second thought. Creating a digital photo album is a great place to share photos regularly, plus it creates a natural digital story that can be looked back on. Try setting a personal goal of (think small!) 1-2 photos a week. Tell your family about your intentions, but don’t turn it into a homework assignment.
7. Daily Tradition. I recently got my mother hooked on Wordle after showing her the game on a whim. Now, not a morning goes by that I don’t wake up to a text waiting for me with her daily puzzle score. Moreover, it’s naturally evolved into a family-wide thing (except for my spelling-impaired engineer father). Sometimes, things stick best when we aren’t trying to get them to stick. There are tons of shareable games out there, and if you can find the right one, it can be a nice way to maintain a connection with members of your extended family.
Originally from New England, Matt Desenberg is a writer living in Monterey.