With the world now closing in on two years of Covid-19 and all that has come with it, I’ve been thinking a lot about how all of this will play out for my grandchildren’s generation. Seems like most age groups have identifiable large-scale events or social phenomena that can later be seen as shaping their generation. How will all this shape who my grandkids become? As often happens, my mind wanders, and I start thinking about my children and the generation groups they belong to. I have a 31-year-old and a 22-year-old. There are a lot of opinions about those who were born between 1965 and 1980—Generation X. But, millennials are the most talked-about generation to come along. And, unfortunately, much of it is negative. I’m here to tell you, I admire these young people, and the way they are making their mark on the world.
I am in leadership at work, and every person in my unit is a millennial. Although Gen Xers are a shrinking group in law enforcement, you can ask almost any of them what they think about millennials, and the answers won’t be pretty. The most common things you will hear are that they are self-centered, lazy, lack focus, and are entitled. Their social skills are suspect. And they think life is all about “participation trophies” and “selfies.” Put aside the fact that I disagree with most of these assessments: the bottom line is we can’t get away from the fact that it was us–Baby Boomers and Gen Xers–who raised them!
Most millennials were raised by Gen Xers like me, the first generation of latchkey kids. Being unsupervised by parents and left to our own devices created a lot of good traits for us. We learned independence, problem-solving, and flexibility in most aspects of life. But we also got into trouble, tended to be cynical, and were risk-takers. As a result of that, Gen Xers became parents who wanted things to be better for our kids. So, we set out to protect them from EVERYTHING. We didn’t want our angels to ever experience disappointment, hurt feelings, consequences, hard knocks, or anything that would make them feel less than perfect. We decided the best way to keep our babies safe was to hover. All. The. Time.
As for me, I will continue to believe that every generation improves upon the ideas of the generation they were raised by. Being optimistic isn’t typical of my generation, but so be it. I’m going to do it anyway. Because there is a lot the millennials are doing very, very right.
One of the things I have always admired about my daughter is her insistence that life gives her what she deserves. Don’t get me wrong--she doesn’t expect anything to be handed to her. But if her employer doesn’t pay her what her experience is worth, she will find one who does. As a result, she has consistently gained both income and experience in a variety of jobs. That seems so exciting to me! One of my daughter’s common sayings is, “Know your worth.” She says it to me when I have a promotional interview. She says it to my husband when he sells his custom tables for less than he should. It’s something I wish I could master.
More millennials have a college degree than any generation before them. However, many are underemployed because their parents and grandparents aren’t retiring. Upward career movement is slower than for previous generations, making financial success and home ownership harder to attain. But they are adjusting to this change in lifestyle in innovative ways. The Flower Children of the 60s and 70s were known for their non-conforming lifestyle. But, I believe it’s millennials who have perfected the art of free-spirited living.
Millennials are giving in to the wanderlust that my generation only dreamed about. Estimates are that 20% of all international travelers are millennials. They take more trips per year (average of five) than any previous generation, although their trips are shorter in duration.
Preferring to have more experiences before they become parents, millennials are starting families later. In 1970, the average age for a woman having her first child was 21. In 2017, it was 26. And when they do become parents, they are doing it on their own terms. They are responding to their own upbringing with new attitudes and lifestyles. They have access to new ideas like parenting blogs and social media, and more available information means they are bucking the traditional concepts about parenting and families. Unmarried but committed couples are much more common. In the 1950s, 93% of couples parenting together were married; in the 21st Century, just 68% are. And more children under 18 than ever–in 2017 it was estimated at 3.7 million–have an LGBTQ parent. And there are more multiracial Millennial households than any other generation.
Millennials value positive parenting over authoritarian discipline. They value togetherness as a family, and more millennials than any other generation are working from home. Although family dinners around the table are not as common, they are spending more actual time with their children than any previous generation. They are raising their kids more safely, using car seats, helmets, and sunscreen much more than their parents did. But their approach to parenting is more of a “drone” than a “helicopter.” They let their children explore and experience the world around them but are close enough to swoop in when needed.
And remember that millennials have experienced both financial booms and recessions. As a result, more of them have a savings and a college fund for their children than any generation before them. And, speaking of money, these socially compassionate young people tend to put their money where their mouths are. They value healthy food and a healthy environment and will buy products that support their ideals over ones that do not.
The young people I work with are amazing humans, and I’m glad I have the opportunity to know their generation. They connect with each other and support one another in a way that my generation didn’t. They build friend groups that last a lifetime and call each other “the family we choose.” It’s a beautiful thing to see. And I can only imagine that the generation they raise will accomplish even more remarkable things.
TRICIA VLASAK is a mother, grandparent, and wife. She works in law enforcement when she isn’t writing about parenting, hiking with her dogs, or going on adventures. Tricia received a Silver Award for feature writing from Parenting Media Association in 2021.