Being the new kid in school is a phenomenon that many kids will experience in their lives. School districts and government agencies officially refer to it as “student mobility”, defined as any time a student changes school for reasons other than grade promotion. Student mobility can be voluntary, such as changing schools to participate in a magnet program, or involuntary, due to a change in a parent’s job.
I was the new kid myself several times growing up. I can tell you that I was not thinking about what kind of statistic I was when I was the new kid. All I knew was that I was alone, nervous, and scared!
The experience of being the new kid has encouraged me to teach my own children to look for new kids and reach out.
Here are ten ways I’m teaching my kids to help the new kids at school.
- Recognize that there will be new kids at school, kids who do not know anyone. Look for them, don’t look past them.
- Say hi. Ask where they are from. Does she have any pets or siblings?
- Sit with the new kid at lunch.
- Invite the new student to hang out after school.
- Did I mention just talk to the new kid? It’s okay if you’re not best friends. Maybe you won’t have anything in common. But if you never even talk, then you won’t find out if you have anything in common or not.
- Compliment the new student. Maybe she’s wearing a shirt with a sports team that is also your favorite sports team. Once when I was the new kid a girl told me she liked my watch band. It was a small comment, but it meant so much to me.
- Tell the new kid about clubs, sports, or other activities at school. One year I was invited to join the basketball team and gained a whole team of friends.
- Sit with him on the bus or stand with him at the pick-up loop. Even if it’s just for a day or two.
- Help the new student find things like the gym and the cafeteria.
- Be welcoming and inclusive in group work in class. Remember, the new kid knows no one and things may have run differently at his old school.
Parents, teach your kids to look for new students and take any of these concrete steps to be kind and helpful. As a result, the new kid won’t feel so alone and will be one step closer to finding her way in a new school.
And if you see any new moms or dads standing alone at the pick-up loop after school or wandering the halls looking lost? Then it’s your turn to say hello. If you never even talk to the new parents, then you won’t find out if you have anything in common or not.
Katy M. Clark is a writer who embraces her imperfections as a mom on her blog, ExperiencedBadMom.com.