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It’s been a year since the world changed. A year when we’ve had to change the way we work, spend time with loved ones, work out, and even the way our children learn. One of the most challenging changes for parents and students has been navigating virtual school.
Though there’s been a learning curve most families are still figuring out how to navigate virtual learning. Masha Serttunc, 44, of Pacific Grove, has a child in the sixth grade. Serttunc says, “School only lasts two hours…both adults in our household work full time, with no flexible schedules, so our son was left to his own devices most of the time.”
She adds: “My husband shifted his workday a couple of hours to create time to hang out with our son; I tried to schedule my classes around his breaks,” she added. “It’s been a blessing and a curse. Not all teachers are willing to adjust their ways to make virtual learning not only engaging but also effective.” She adds that some teachers are “actually doing a great job keeping kids engaged, while others are still struggling with technology.”
The logistics aren’t the only challenging aspects of learning at home. Serttunc adds that although her son is getting As, “he is very miserable and bored. They are not covering enough; he is not challenged enough.”
Mandy Martini, 41, from Marina, who has a first grader and a preschooler, says, “It took a few months for my son to get the hang of the routine. We go through cycles where he wants to participate more, wants more of my help, dad’s help, or no help at all. We feel he’s doing pretty well academically, though I think peers’ influence would be more beneficial. With him in Kinder in the Spring and the lessons being asynchronous, it was tough to motivate him to do any work. His brother was also home making distractions even more of an issue.”
In the beginning, Martini’s son hated virtual learning. “He didn’t want to do the work or have us telling him to do the work. He just wanted to play with his brother or watch TV. He was still reluctant to participate when school started in the Fall and was intimidated by the big Meets, but pretty quickly developed a good relationship with his teachers, especially in smaller groups.” Now, she says, her son is confident in doing it, participates in class, and is very independent with his asynchronous afternoon work.
To make things work, the Martini family has both mom and dad working remotely from home. “[My work] was less demanding at the time,” she adds, “I provided childcare primarily. We eventually got into a groove with lots of time in our yard playing, doing hands-on learning, cooking and gardening, and integrating schoolwork throughout the day.”
A Different Way of Learning at Home
Nichole Lamb, 46, of Salinas, the mother of a Kindergartener, has taken a different approach to virtual learning. Though her child finished pre-school virtually in the spring, she started the homeschool journey for this school year. “The homeschool curriculum doesn’t include any virtual learning but does include suggestions for supplementing learning with videos, field guides, and Internet searches.
As a single mom, it was hard for Lamb to balance owning a business, serving on the board of a non-profit, and homeschooling. “The next big challenge,” she says, “was trying to figure out how to give her a Kindergarten experience at home.” To accomplish that, Lamb turned her living room into a classroom. To keep her business running, Lamb has amped up her business’ Facebook marketing, stays up late in the evenings working, and communicates with her clients via e-mail while her daughter is completing schoolwork. She adds that many of her clients are also struggling, so “there’s a sense of us all being in this together.”
Challenging Moments and Glimmers of Hope
The road to virtual learning has not been an easy one. Some of the tough moments Serttunc says have been the “overwhelming loneliness. My child is an only child and he was very sad and depressed. I bought him a phone, and he connected to some of his peers. It was tough.” Serttunc tried to get her son to do activities such as hiking, swimming, and playing after her workday, but says “compared to the greater part of the day, it was very little.”
Martini says that for her your son, he “wasn’t very computer literate and hated the once-a-week Google Meets his teacher would hold. He’d cry if we made him participate.”
She adds that it hasn’t been easy, but she’s “trying to have the patience for the days when he’s not feeling distance learning, but we still have our jobs to do and a household to keep running. We’ve all had moments of yelling and anger, but luckily those have decreased significantly as we’ve gotten into the groove.”
For Lamb, the toughest moments have been when she finds herself critical of her daughter and expecting too much. “We’ve had some pretty raw moments, but we work through them, starting with me apologizing and then giving her space to tell me what she’s feeling.”
Serttunc, a teacher teaching older students, says she wasn’t given enough time to figure it all out. “I was given exactly two days to figure out virtual learning: no adjusted schedules, no cute activities. We just went straight back to class, except now, instead of living students, we had their faces. We had to create everything on the fly, with the same teaching schedules, same materials, same expectations. No one cut us any slack, and we did it; even 70-year-old teachers figured it out.” Eight-hour workdays turned into 10-hour workdays. “Slowly we learned, we adjusted the ways we do things to be more efficient. I learned fun and effective tools from my son’s fifth-grade teacher.”
“We have learned just how much effort the teachers are putting into these lessons and crafting their learning days,” says Martini. “My son’s second-grade teacher is very passionate and caring…she seems to work 24/7 to keep things going. We’ve also been able to participate more in his learning.”
The biggest perk for Lamb homeschooling has been the ability to adjust their schedule. “I can let her paint for as long as she wants during her artistic expression lessons or let her work on word building several days in a row if she wants.”
Social Interaction for Kids
Serttunc’s son’s school has implemented lunch clubs for the kids to interact. She says that the kids also play video games together and had gone on bike rides and walks but have settled into a “lazy” attitude. “We do have regular face-to-face get-togethers because the students need to see each other and their teachers; also, virtual learning is damaging for kinesthetic learners who need to move to learn. Our events are all masked; at first, it was odd. But now we are used to it, and both teachers and students are looking forward to those times when we are on campus.”
Martini says her family isn’t keeping in touch with classmates. “We’re strict with limiting exposure.” I’m sad that we’re missing on that part of his development, but I’m confident it will all come with time when this is done.”
Tips for Families in Virtual School
“The most important thing for your kid is that they know you are there for them. All the academic stuff will come with time,” says Martini.
Many parents believe in scheduling time off-screen throughout the day. “Find a way to stay active. Find ways to socialize with other families (masked and outdoors),” says Serttunc. She also suggests buying a big screen monitor, Bluelight glasses, and creating a color-coded schedule—try to make a school environment to the best of what you can do. If your child is struggling, talk to their teacher and try to find the root of the problem and not just say, “my child is struggling.” “Sometimes it’s a simple fix such as asking for paper books to use,” she adds.
Martini says, “Share the duties as much as possible—virtual learning and household duties. It’s too much to carry all that load alone, and don’t be afraid to ask for help.” She adds, “My husband has gotten much better about knowing when he needs to take them and give me a break. I’m trying to be better about asking for those breaks. Trying to read more books, which is an escape for me, getting involved in my community and social justice issues, which help me feel more like my old self.”
For Lamb, it’s all routine and prep work. “I work on the week’s lessons on Saturday or Sunday and collect the materials needed.”
Motivation & Self Care
“At first [what kept me motivated was] the thought that it will end soon. Then there was hope that the school would set up and create a good learning program,” says Serttunc. “This got old because they are not serving the diverse population. I lost my motivation. I am severely depressed, and what makes things even worse is that I know I can be a better teacher to my kid and his friends as I taught middle school before, but I have no energy after my workday.”
Parents need to remember to take moments for themselves during this hectic time, too, even if they’re small moments. “A fun meal together, finding a movie we all like, keeping a running joke going—those little glimmers through the day add up,” says Martini. “Just seeing how our communities have come together to help each other has helped keep me motivated.”
Michelle Marie Arean, is the voice behind Bella Vida Styles, a women’s lifestyle online magazine/blog. Arean has 20 years’ experience in various aspects of the media industry. Although Arean does not have children of her own, she is a very involved auntie to a second grader and a pre-schooler.